Giving You The Best That I've Got -Anita Baker

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Defining a Relationship [excerpt]

-Linda Reeves

Relationships can be everything you want them to be with time and effort on both parts and we all do not progress at the same speed. Take your time, when you have reached a level of comfort with this person where you can talk about anything, they include you in every aspect of their lives and want nothing more than to share every moment of life with you and you feel the same then you have the beginnings of a relationship that must be nurtured forever. I feel compelled to ask you please, please, please, never ever, live your life, change your life, and live day to day based on what the other person wants or expects of you. You, are an individual and never should you lose sight of your individuality in a relationship, do not put your family and friends on the back burner, find time for them in your new life. Focus on the fact that you are bringing someone new into your world just as they are bringing you into theirs and when it is right, everything works in unison. Relationships are part of what builds our character and makes us better stronger people. We are who we are because of past relationships, learn from them and use that knowledge to make this one or the next one the best one or the last one and never stop working at it, the rewards could last a lifetime.


Article Source:http://ezinearticles.com/?Defining-a-Relationship&id=64676


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Clarifying Relatinships [Part-1]

-Heavenly

Relationships come in many different forms and it is imperative that you and your partner both have a clear understanding of the kind of relationship your in. Problems will always arise when there is confusion about what kind of relationship you are in. Even if you think you know, it is still necessary to verbally express what you feel and define your relationship. It is especially important to do this when you start to feel differently about the relationship you are in. It is only fair to let  your partner know when things are changing; DO NOT try to go on acting like things are still the same if they are not....that's a real punk move. Of course it may be hard to do this sometimes because you may not want to hurt your partners feelings or you may just be a coward...but in the end you will always hurt the other person more by letting them be the last to know that your feelings have changed.


When people get into relationships it often requires changes to be made in both peoples' lives; like cutting off unnecessary people in your life, not associating with your ex, and just things to show the other person that you respect the relationship you have with them. So...when you feel you don't want that type of relationship anymore (not necessarily saying it means you want to break up; although that does also apply) you owe your partner enough respect to inform them and explain why...whether they like the explanation or not...as long as it is true and you are straight up with your partner about your feelings, then you have done right on your part and they can choose to accept it or not.


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Poem Of The Week: I Kick Myself

i kick myself

-Derek del Barrio

i've made the mistake of complacency and now i'm paying the price i've made the mistake of being a pussy and trying to be too nice and now i kick myself for all the previous hesitations because not being myself has led to all of these frustrations i don't want to live in the past if i can help it but the road ahead is slippery as i drive it i've made the mistake of stupidity and now i kick myself i kick myself for when i hesitated i kick myeslf i'm so frustrated i kick myself

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Nothing Even Matters - Lauryn Hill & D'Angelo

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Appreciating The One's You Love

-Heavenly

First let me wish everyone a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! This is a time for making sure everyone that you love knows that you do in fact truly love them and that they are appreciated. This is such an IMPORTANT thing to do. From elder family members, to children, your lover and everybody in between...nobody who you claim to love should be left out; even if you do nothing more than just calling them or texting them to wish them a great day and tell them you love them. If you and someone you love are not speaking or maybe just got into an argument or anything like that...it doesn't matter!! People need to feel loved...no matter who they are or how much they can put on a front that they don't need any kind of love.


You never know what things a person may be going through; they may be under lots of stress, on the verge of a mental breakdown or even on the verge of suicide. Some people are very good at hiding how much they are hurting inside (trust me I know...I'm one of them) and you letting them know how important they are to you may just save their life! People need to be reminded of love and appreciation on a regular basis; it important to everyone that they feel needed, wanted, appreciated and loved. You should always make your partner feel these things; especially on this holiday. Of course, this holiday is when you need to be with your family, and all you may not be married, so you might not be bringing your partner with you when spending time with family...but that in no way means that you should leave them out. If you tell your partner that you love them, there is no way you should go through the day without reassuring them of your love and appreciation for them...even if you can't physically be with them today.



Reasons To Appreciate Your Partner:
*They love you
*They have been faithful/loyal to you
*They make you smile
*They give and don't always receive
*They have been there for you through rough times
*They treat you really good
*They listen to what you have to say
*They pray for you
*They share what they have with you
*They don't hurt you (physically/verbally)
*They are honest with you
*They are trustworthy
*They are always wanting to help you
*They don't put you down/talk down to you
*They keep themselves up for you
*They consider your feelings in decisions they make
*They will take care of you when you are sick
*They are concerned about your well-being
*They are always available for you



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: Just Like The Water

Just Like The Water
-Lauryn Hill

[Verse 1]
Moving down the streams of my lifetime
Pulls the fascination in my sleeve
Cooling off the fire of my longing
Boiling off my cold within his heat
Melting down the walls of inhibition
Evaporating all of my fears
Baptizing me into complete submission
Dissolving my condition with his tears


[Chorus]
He's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years
He's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years


[Verse 2]
Coursing through my senses, he's prevailing
Floating through the space of my design
Drowning me to find my inside sailing
Drinking in the mainstream of his mind
Filling up the cup of my emotions
Spilling over into all I do
If I only I could get lost in his ocean
Surviving on the thought of loving you


[Chorus]
He's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years
He's just like the water, the water
I ain't felt this way in years


[Verse 3]
Bathing in the fountain of his essence
He causes my expression to remain
Humbled on a mountain by his presence
Washing my intentions with his name
Sealing off the floodgates of his passions
Saving all his liquid for his own
Moisturizing me to satisfaction
In my imagination? No no!
He's pouring out his soul to me for hours and hours
Drawing out my nature with his hands
Yearning I'm so thirsty for his power
Burning to be worthy of his land


[Chorus]
He's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years
He's just like the water
I ain't felt this way in years


[Ad Libs Remainder]
Cleaning me
He's purging me
And moving me around
He's bathing me
And he's claiming me
And moving me around
Around and around and around
And around
Watching me, claiming me
Moving me around
He's purging me
He's been cleaning me
And moving me around
And around



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Relationship Advice: the Romance Paradox

 

Dating tips for independent women who don't know what to do with an old-fashioned romance

-Jennifer Benjamin

A dirty little secret is being kept by many smart, independent women: In relationships, they'd prefer not to wear the pants. In fact, they long for their men in love to kick it old-school by, say, opening the car door, picking up the dinner tab (at least in the early days of dating), and eventually, asking Dad's permission for their hand in marriage.


If you're cringing right now, you're not alone. Even the women who crave these ultratraditional displays feel a little squeamish about it. "Women work hard to be respected and taken seriously in so many areas of their lives, and some may feel as if they're betraying their 'strong female' identity by adopting old-fashioned romantic conventions in which the man is, in some ways, playing a dominant role," says Tara M. Emmers-Sommer, Ph.D., a professor of communication studies at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas. So how does a modern girl reconcile these two disparate sides of herself? Read on.


Romantics at Heart
When your guy squashes a big, scary bug for you—or better, whisks you away for a secretly planned weekend—there's no shame in swooning just a little. "No matter how powerful and independent they are, women still want to be pursued, protected, and cared for by their partners," says psychologist Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., author of Love in 90 Days.


You can blame it, at least in part, on biology. "Like all other animals, humans evolved to ensure healthy offspring. Millions of years ago, women wanted to mate with strong, resourceful, stable partners who could help provide for and protect their children," says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University in New Jersey and author of Why We Love. "And although it has been a long time since women have needed men to support them financially, the cues that indicate those same qualities are still innately attractive to women." In other words, when he plans a date or helps you with a problem, it's powerful because, on some deep and perhaps unconscious level, it shows his ability to take charge and his staying power in the relationship.


Plus, being wooed feels pretty damn great. It can boost your levels of feelgood dopamine—the neurotransmitter responsible for creating that romantic high—and the brain hormone oxytocin, which fosters feelings of attachment to a partner. Sweet gestures (bringing you a cup of coffee in bed, braving the cold to get the mail, driving you to the airport) can trigger that same lovey-dovey response, but a woman also tends to feel an increase in sexual desire when she perceives that her man is listening and taking care of her, says Kirschner.


Biology aside, we can't ignore societal expectations, even in 2010. Emmers-Sommer conducted a recent study of 442 men and women between the ages of 18 and 49, and found that men are still largely the initiators when it comes to asking for a date, and that both sexes expect the man to always pay. "It's social modeling: We're given these scripts about the male-female dynamic," she explains.


Some of these notions of old-fashioned romance have been drilled into our heads since, well, our first Disney flick. As we get older, we're fed even more (and often traditional) relationship advice from our parents, along with being inundated by messages in ads, chick flicks, and reality TV.


Think about it—the commercial where the man gives his wife a new diamond ring when they hit the five-year mark, the romcom in which the hero chases his true love through airport security and onto the plane, leaving his shoes and spare change behind. And on reality TV, people fall in love and propose after, oh, roughly five dates (which consist of helicopter rides and romps on tropical beaches). A study done by Robert H. Woods Jr., Ph.D., at Spring Arbor University, and Samuel Ebersole, Ph.D., at Colorado State University at Pueblo, found that 18-to 25-year-olds avidly watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette—and many of them claim they watch this type of show to live vicariously through the characters.

Article Source:http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=26038069



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

I'm Yours [Lyrics] -Jason Mraz

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Loving Yourself FIRST!!

-Heavenly


Relationships fail for many reasons. Since we are just starting out I feel it is appropriate to cover how not loving yourself and not knowing what you want can destroy a relationship. Before you can love ANYONE, you have to FIRST love yourself. People easily play off that they love themselves by being selfish or just by saying it; etc. The truth is, when you love yourself, and you are in a relationship, it will show through the love that you give your partner. This is because loving yourself involves caring, understanding, and forgiveness.


Caring, because you have to care about your life, well-being, your feelings, and opinions; allowing you to then know what caring really is so that you genuinely care about your partner. If you don't really know what it is to care for yourself; there is no way you can care for anyone else.


Understanding, because it is important to realize and know that you are not a perfect person, nor have you had a perfect life. Sometimes you probably found yourself in situations that would cause some people to judge you or form their own opinions about you/your situation without even knowing or caring to know how you ended up in the situation. Your partner deserves that same understanding and you can't give that understanding if you don't have it for yourself.


Forgiveness, because again, you are not perfect and have not lived a perfect life. A lot of people have done things in their life that they feel guilty about; keeping them from self-forgiveness. You must forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past...even if it is recent past. Being able to forgive yourself makes it easier to forgive your partner for things that happened in their past, and not hold it against them in any way. Whether it is you or your partner, as long as you both know you have TRULY made a change for the better, you have NO reason to feel guilty nor to feel like you owe ANYBODY, ANYTHING. You will never be able to forgive others if you don't know how to forgive yourself.


***If you are in a relationship and you can realize that there are things within yourself that you need to work on in order to be right for the person you love...communicate this information with them; so that they are not left in the dark thinking they are doing something wrong when they are not. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is to throw blame where there isn't really blame to throw but on yourself. Of course if your partner is doing something you feel is not right then you should be sure to communicate exactly what it is.

^^^Sometimes you can work things out while still staying in your relationship...but sometimes it is necessary to separate for the sake of one (or both) of you making yourself better for the other person***


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Dancing In The Dark -Solange

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

love LIFE/uncut

<!-- Begin: adBrite, Generated: 2010-11-22 7:47:15  -->
<style type="text/css">
   .adHeadline {font: bold 10pt Arial; text-decoration: underline; color: #0000FF;}
   .adText {font: normal 10pt Arial; text-decoration: none; color: #008000;}
</style>
<script type="text/javascript">
try{var AdBrite_Iframe=window.top!=window.self?2:1;var AdBrite_Referrer=document.referrer==''?document.location:document.referrer;AdBrite_Referrer=encodeURIComponent(AdBrite_Referrer);}catch(e){var AdBrite_Iframe='';var AdBrite_Referrer='';}
document.write(String.fromCharCode(60,83,67,82,73,80,84));document.write(' src="http://ads.adbrite.com/mb/text_group.php?sid=1812104&br=1&dk=706572736f6e616c735f315f325f776562&ifr='+AdBrite_Iframe+'&ref='+AdBrite_Referrer+'" type="text/javascript">');document.write(String.fromCharCode(60,47,83,67,82,73,80,84,62));</script>
<div><a class="adHeadline" target="_top" href="http://www.adbrite.com/mb/commerce/purchase_form.php?opid=1812104&afsid=1">Your Ad Here</a></div>
<!-- End: adBrite -->

love LIFE/uncut is all about maintaining healthy relationships and recognizing unhealthy relationships; being better humans for ourselves and for our lovers. Everyone on this earth wants, needs, and deserves to be loved. Many relationship problems can be solved simply by communicating with one another and making an honest effort to be the best person you can be. I am going to give you all plenty of information, statistics, and advice on relationships. I will not hold back; I am going to give my honest opinion on every topic brought up. Relationships are supposed to be a good thing. With all the problems in the world and all the stress life may already be bringing you....your relationship with your lover should not be one of them.  

~lOVE 2 B lOVED