Lyrics Of The Week: You The One

 You The One

-Rihanna

 [Intro]
You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is my love

[Rihanna]
Baby, I love you, I need you here
Give me all the time
Baby we meant to be
You got me, smiling all the time

Cause you know how to give me that
You know how to pull me back
When I go runnin, runnin
Tryin' to get away from loving ya
You know how to love me hard
I won't lie, I'm falling hard
Yep, I'm falling for ya but there's nothin wrong with that

[Chorus]
You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is my love

You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is mine

[Rihanna]
Baby come, tear me now, hold me now
Make me come alive
You got the sweetest touch
I'm so happy, you came in my life

Cause you know how to give me that
You know how to pull me back
When I go runnin, runnin
Tryin' to get away from loving ya
You know how to love me hard
I won't lie, I'm falling hard
Yep, I'm falling for ya but there's nothin wrong with that

[Chorus]
You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is my love

You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is mine

[Bridge]
And Yes I'm kinda crazy,
That's what happens baby,
When you put it down
You should've give it to me
Good like that,
Shouldnt've hit it like that,
Had me yellin' like that
Didn't know you would've had me coming back

You the one that i'm feeling
You the one that i'm loving
Ain't no other, that's like you
No there's just one, one, one
No baby just one, one
I bet you wanna know

[Chorus]
You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is my love

You the one that I dream about all day
You the one that I think about always
You Are The One So I Make Sure I Behave!
My love is your love, your love is mine

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Quote Of The Week: (Christmas) Hamilton Wright Mabie

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!  

~Hamilton Wright Mabie

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: We Found Love

 We Found Love

 -Rihanna

[Narration:]

It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
And when it's over, and it's gone
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back
So that you could have the good

Yellow diamonds in the light
Now we’re standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine
What it takes to come alive

It’s the way I’m feeling I just can’t deny
But I’ve gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place

Shine a light through an open door
Love and life I will divide
Turn away 'cause I need you more
Feel the heartbeat in my mind

It’s the way I’m feeling I just can’t deny
But I’ve gotta let it go

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place

Yellow diamonds in the light
Now we’re standing side by side
As your shadow crosses mine

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place

We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place
We found love in a hopeless place 



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: Until It's Gone

Until It's Gone

Monica

 It’s a shame you ain’t wanted when you had it... heey

Gave my love and you took the shit for granted.. heey

And it was me those nights that you didn’t come home

Crying to my momma, blowing up your phone

Just wait a little while, baby you gon’ see

That this gon’ hurt you more than it hurt me

One thing that I know for sure

Is you gon’ miss me when I go

And it’s gon’ hurt babe

When you’re all alone

I guess it’s true what people say

You never know

What you have until it’s gone

You can never say I didn’t try..hey

Gave my all but I couldn’t make you fight..heey

And it was me those nights that you didn’t come home

Crying to my momma, blowing up your phone

Just wait a little while, baby you gon’ see

That this gon’ hurt you more than it hurt me

One thing that I know for sure

Is you gon’ miss me when I go

And it’s gon’ hurt babe

When you’re all alone

I guess it’s true what people say

You never know

What you have until it’s gone

And I can’t say enough that it’s gon’ be me you’ll miss, no

And I can’t say enough that it ain’t gon’ get no better than this

I’m tryna make you realize

I cried and I cried so many times

But one thing I know

It’s gon’ hurt when you go

But one thing that I know babe

One thing that I know for sure

Is you gon’ miss me when I go

And it’s gon’ hurt babe

You’re all alone

I guess it’s true what people say

You never know

I guess it’s true what people say

You never know

What you have until it’s gone

~lOVED 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: Try a Little Tenderness

Try A Little Tenderness

Otis Redding

 Oh, she may be weary
Young girls they do get weary
Wearing that same old shaggy dress, yeah yeah
But when she gets weary
Try a little tenderness, yeah yeah

You know she's waiting
Just anticipating
For things that she'll never never never never possess, yeah yeah
But while she's there waiting, without them
Try a little tenderness (that's all you gotta do)

It's not just sentimental, no no no
She has her grief and care, yeah yeah yeah
But the soft words they are spoke so gentle, yeah
It makes it easier, easier to bare, yeah

You won't regret it, no no
Some girls they don't forget it
Love is their only happiness, yeah
But it's all so easy
All you gotta do is try, try a little tenderness, yeah
All you gotta do is man, hold her where you want her

Squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave her
Get to her drop drop
Just try a little tenderness, ooh yeah yeah yeah
You got to know how to love her, man, you'll be surprised, man
You've got to squeeze her, don't tease her, never leave
You've got to hold her and rub her softly
Try a little tenderness, ooh yeah yeah yeah
You've got to rub her gentle man, don't bruise her, no no
You've got to love her, squeeze her, don't tease her
Gotta drop nah nah nah drop
Try a little tenderness, yeah, watch her groove
You've gotta to know what to do, man
Take this advice

(Quickly fades away)

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Will Smith Gives Good Relationship Advice

 After being married for 13 years to wife Jada Pinkett-Smith, actor Will Smith seems like he would be a good person to sit down and talk with about how to make a healthy marriage work. He recently spoke with Essence about relationships, schooling us on not only love and marriage, but what men need to be happy. He says that every man wants to marry their “homie,” avoid nagging by direct affection, give your man a little space, and keep things mysterious:

If You Marry Your Best Friend, You’re Good 

Every man wants to marry his homie, Will explained. A lot of women will impress them, but it’s the one they can always laugh with and be themselves with that will ultimately impress them the most. If you can be yourselves around each other, 100 percent of the time, and they can make you life like no one else can, you’ll never have a dull moment together.  

Remind Him of What He Has 

When you start to feel that you’re nagging your husband to the point of no return and nothing you’re saying is getting through, Will suggests you try a new approach. Hold him close, look him right in the eyes, and tell him that you love him, you’re right there, and you always will be, BUT you need him to pick his socks up – right now.  As Will puts it, it’s important to remind him that your request is coming from a good place, and what you want is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Um, genius!  

All Men Need A Little Space 

“If you don’t give your husband thirty minutes to himself when he first gets home he’ll stop coming home,” Will told me, straight up. (You’re thinking, no way, right? I did too!) When I asked Will when a wife was supposed to say her piece, he responded, “anytime after that.” Will reminded me that everyone’s home needs to feel like a happy place, and it won’t if you’re “greeted with negativity” every time you enter the door. Touché Will. Talk about a pause for the cause.  

Focus on Balance and Excitement Always According to Will and Jada’s way of thinking about marriage, maintaining a happy union isn’t just about making time for one another, it’s about making the time count too. Excitement and mystery are everything, he said. Surprise them, let them know you love them, laugh together – whatever it takes to put a smile on their face.

Article Source: http://necolebitchie.com/2011/06/21/will-smith-offers-relationship-advice-marry-your-best-friend/

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Champagne Chronic Nightcap -Solange & Lil Wayne

 
~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Don’t Spend Thanksgiving Alone!

Are you planning on spending the Thanksgiving holiday on your own? Many people find that they just aren't in the right emotional place to spend the holidays with others. They haven't gotten to know any online matches well enough to spend a holiday with them. They don't want to endure another family get together in which well-intentioned relations ask about the status of their personal lives. And they have friends but planning a Thanksgiving dinner just sounds too tiring to be worked out.

That's okay. It's nice to spend Thanksgiving with family and friends but it's not the only option. And staying home alone with a microwave turkey dinner isn't the only alternative. You can go out into the world and make connections to be thankful for without having to deal with the intensity and pressure of new relationships, old family members and overwhelming friends.

Consider just spending a day out and about in your town. Somewhere in the city, other people are milling about. Visit a local park. Find a coffee shop that you've never been to which didn't close for the holiday and hang out there for a few hours. Seek out an event that's happening during the holiday. You aren't the only one who doesn't have specific plans; seek out others who are in the same boat. You can converse with them or simply wish them a Happy Thanksgiving, giving a fix to your need to socialize without causing your emotions to go into overdrive.


Article Source:http://www.dating-weblog.com/50226711/dont_spend_thanksgiving_alone.php


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: Star Over

 Start Over
-Beyonce

 I feel weak, we've been here before,
'Cause I feel we keep going back and forth,
Maybe it's over, maybe we're through,
But I honestly can say I still love you,

Maybe we reached the mountain peak,
And there's no more left to climb,
And maybe we lost the magic piece,
And we're both too blind to find,

Let's start over,
Let's give love their wings,
Let's start over,
Stop fighting 'bout the same old thing,
Let's start over,
We can't let our good love die,
Maybe we can start over,
Give love another life,

I can see that we're not happy here,
So why would we keep pretending when there's nothing there?
Maybe you like it, well, I don't,
And maybe you'll settle, well, I won't,

Maybe we reached the mountain peak,
And there's no more left to climb,
And maybe we lost the magic piece,
And we're both too blind to find,

Let's start over,
Let's give love their wings,
Let's start over,
Stop fighting about the same old thing,
Let's start over,
We can't let our good love die,
Maybe we can start over,
Give love another life,

I know that this will hurt you,
I know you'll cry,
I know I called you selfish, but that's a lie,
I feel I know that's the best for us,

Let's start over,
And let's give love their wings,
Let's start over,
I'm tired of fighting 'bout the same old thing,
Let's start over,
We both know that this love won't die,
Maybe we can start over,
And give love another life.

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

The One -Mary J. Blige

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

25/8 -Mary J. Blige

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: We Need A Resolution

 

We Need A Resolution

-Aaliyah

[Verse - 1]
Did you sleep on the wrong side?
I'm catching a bad vibe
And it's contagious, What's the latest?
Speak your heart, Don't bite your tongue
Don't get it twisted, Don't misuse it
What's your problem?
Lets resolve it
We can solve it, What's the causes?
It's official, You got issues
I got issues, but I know I miss you

[Chorus - 1]
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.

[Verse - 2]
I want to know: Where were you last night?
I fell asleep on the couch, I thought we were going out
I want to know: Were your fingers broke?
If you had let me know, I wouldn't have put on my clothes
I want to know: Where'd you go instead?
Cause it was 4 in the morning, When you crept back in the bed
I want to know: What was in your head?
Or what was in my head? Am I supposed to change?

[Chorus - 2]
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? And will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.

Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? and who should be blamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed?
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change?
Who should be hurt? Will we remain?
You need a resolution, I need a resolution,
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion.

[Bridge - Aaliyah]
Baby let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)
You'll let me know, You'll let me know (I will)

[Rap - Timbaland]
Girl holla!!
You give me bits and pieces
You tryna blame me when I don't even know the reason
I think it's just the season, Maybe the month, Maybe the building
Now tell me what's the reason? Snoop video? Looks are deceiving
So, cut the crying, Cut the coughing, Cut the wheezing, Girl
Quit the blaming, Cut the naming, Cut the sleeping, Girl
I think you need some prayer, Better call the deacon, Girl
So, get your act right or else we won't be speaking, Girl
So, what's it gonna be? Freaky, freaky... Me and you?
Or is it gonna be who blames who?
I'm tired of these things, I'm tired of these scars
I think I'm gonna get me a drink, I'll call you tomorrow



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Couples Halloween Costume Ideas: Best For 2011

Homer Simpson & Marge Simpson (DIY Playboy Bunny Marge - Did you know Marge was on the cover of Playboy!)

Mary Ann & Gilligan (Gilligan's Island tv show. Goofy, funny Gilligan and hot little farm gal Mary Ann)

Skipper & Ginger

Mr. & Mrs. Howell

Popeye & Olive Oyl (Family affair - You could take a baby Sweet Pea!)

Mr. & Mrs. Incredible

Gothic Vampire & Vampire

Fred & Wilma Flinstone

Barney & Betty Rubble

Pebbles & Bamm Bamm

Alice in Wonderland & the Mad Hatter

Gangster & Flapper Girl

Dog Bounty Hunter & Wife Beth

George & Jane Jetson

Sexy College Chick & Nerdy Professor

Hugh Hefner & Playboy Bunny of your choice

Mario & Luigi

Bowling Ball & Pin

Ketchup & Mustard

Toothbrush & Toothpaste (Perfect for the dentist out there!)

Statue of Liberty & Abe Lincoln

President Obama & First Lady Michelle

Tom & Jerry (cat and mouse)

Sylvester & Tweety

Snoopy & Woodstock

Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street

Ace & Gary (Saturday Night Live duo)

Lady Ga Ga Bubble Dress & Michael Jackson (Or Lady Gaga Space Costume & Lady Gaga Hair 

Button Hat DIY)

Sponge Bob & Patrick

Sunflower & LadyBug

Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head

M & M Candies - Different colors..."They melt in your mouth, not in your hands!"

Lewis & Clark (Or for straight couples Lewis or Clark with Sacajawea)

Queen & King of Hearts

Captain Jack Sparrow & a Hot Pirate Wench (Pirates of the Caribbean theme)

Snow White & any of the 7 Dwarfs: Sleepy, Sneezy, Doc, Dopey, Bashful, Happy, or Grumpy

Robin Hood & Maid Marian

Shrek & Fiona

Hansel & Gretel

Raggedy Ann & Andy

Pooh Bear & Piglet or Tigger (Would be great for parents & have little piglet as baby/child too)

Rhett Butler & Scarlet O'Hara (Romantic, Gone with the Wind)

Thelma & Louise

Kanye West and Taylor Swift

Article Source:http://www.bukisa.com/articles/351562_couples-halloween-costume-ideas-best-for-2010

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: End Of Time

End Of Time
-Beyonce


Come take my hand
I won't let you go
I'll be your friend
I will love you so deeply
I will be the one to kiss you at night
I will love you until the end of time

I will be your baby
Promise not to let you go
Love you like crazy
Say you'll never let me go (Repeat X4)

Take you away from here
There's nothing between us but space and time
I'll be your own little star
I'll be shining your world
In your own little universe
I'll be your girl

Come take my hand
I won't let you go
I'll be your friend
I will love you so deeply
I will be the one to kiss you at night
I will love you until the end of time

I will be your baby
Promise not to let you go
Love you like crazy
Say you'll never let me go (Repeat X4)

Baby, come on
Get up on this
Show me that you really want it
? wanna be the one to love you
Baby lets go (Let's go)

I wanna provide
This loving that you're giving
I aint frontin' on this love
Can you you let me love you ? head to toe
Baby lets go

Boy come to me
Let me turn your rain into sun
You don't have to worry
I Promise I'll set your heart free
Let my love run to your soul
You go
I Go
We Go
That's all she wrote

Say you'll
Say say
You'll Ne-Never (Repeat X3)

Can't you see me?
I just wanna love you
Cant you believe me?
I just wanna be with you
I just wanna live for you
I'll never let you go
Bring your love to me

Come take my hand
I won't let you go
I'll be your friend
I will love you so deeply
I will be the one to kiss you at night
I will love you until the end of time

I will be your baby
Promise not to let you go
Love you like crazy
Say you'll never let me go (Repeat X4)

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

How to Keep the Peace Between Opposite Sex Friends and Significant Others

By Shamontiel

My godfather has been my mother's best friend since they were eight years old, and they are still best friends today. My father (and my mother's husband) accepts their friendship. My paternal grandfather and my godfather are also pretty cool. Of course, my maternal family knows him and they're cool with him as well. My father is a deacon, and is in constant communication with female members of his church. Again, platonic friends. Being around parents who have a mutual understanding that they can have friends of the opposite sex, it floored me to date a guy who pretty much wanted me to abandon the few male friends that I have.

Boyfriend started off pretty cool. We hung out regularly, talked on the phone daily, and could chat about anything. I thought this was the perfect relationship (and being as commitment phobic as I am, that's pretty big) up until one day when I told him a male friend of mine was going to come by and see my new apartment. I'd never seen someone change their whole personality so quickly. For the rest of that week, I heard constant spiteful comments about how my "date" was coming on Saturday. The day that one of my male friends came by, Boyfriend called from an unidentified number and hung up on my answering machine. The next day, he bombarded me with questions about what time did Friend get there, what time did Friend leave, and what did Friend and I do while we were hanging out. I almost felt like I was in an interrogation room. Considering that I'm not the jealous type, I didn't understand his frustration nor do I to this day. From that relationship, I learned some very valuable lessons.

Lesson Number One: If you're going to be in a relationship with a jealous person, make sure that you introduce him to your friends. He may feel more comfortable if he knows who your other friends are instead of a mysterious friend showing up out of the clear blue sky. On my living room wall, I have several pictures of guy friends I've had over the years. Thinking that was hint enough that I hang with guys more than women, I assumed Boyfriend would understand. Although Friend and I had been tight for 10 years, it didn't occur to me to introduce Boyfriend to Friend because I didn't think it was a big deal, but afterwards, it seemed like a reasonable thing to do.
 

Lesson Number Two: To avoid possible accusations that you and your opposite sex friend are messing around, try to include your significant other in hanging out. Even better, if Friend is involved with someone, invite him/her along too. Double dates aren't really my thing, but it keeps the peace and again isn't unreasonable. It also gives Friend and Boyfriend the opportunity to bond. I see my godfather and father hang out, laugh, and chill when he comes into town to visit. My godfather even stood in my parents' wedding. Had my father and my godfather not gotten along, that would've never happened.

 
Lesson Number Three: Set a time limit on when your opposite sex friends can call. I'm a serious night owl and my guy friends know it. I was once on the phone with Boyfriend, and another guy friend from college called me pretty late at night. I answered my cell phone while I was on the house phone with Boyfriend, and Boyfriend could hear my whole conversation. I didn't put him on hold or the phone on mute because the conversation was brief and friendly, plus I had nothing to hide. Boyfriend misinterpreted the conversation as some type of booty call. Where he got that idea, I have no clue, but that was when I started to realize he was slightly possessive. After ignoring his rants for a few minutes with yawns and changing the subject, I finally got him to admit that he felt it was odd that another guy would call me so late. Even as a night owl like me, he still found it fishy. I shrugged and told my guy friends to try to call me at a more reasonable time, say before 10 p.m. 

Lesson Number Four: If your opposite sex friend does call, please ask Friend to introduce himself to Boyfriend. I learned that the hard way with my godfather's wife. I called his house one day and asked to speak to him. Now mind you, when I was younger, this was never an issue. But as a young lady grows, her voice becomes more mature. My godfather's wife hissed about me stating my identity and when I told her who I was, she complained about how I could've spoken to her before asking for my godfather. At the time, I didn't understand the harm, but had she spoken to me in a calmer tone, I'd have understood why it is important to keep the significant other at ease. How much effort does it take to say "Hey ____________, this is ____________. How are you doing? Can I speak to _________________?" This way, the Significant Other knows who is calling on the phone for their Significant Other, and it could possibly keep Friend and Significant Other at ease.
 
Lesson Number Five: If Significant Other wants you to give up your friends now that he or she is in the picture, personally I don't feel this is justifiable. Friend could've been there before your relationship started and will be there if/when your relationship ends. Even when my godfather's wife had an issue with me calling and not speaking to her, he didn't stop being friends with my mother nor did the relationship between us become any less tight. His wife accepted that, and although she and I are not in communication now, the bond stayed the same. To give up a true friendship for someone else's insecurities is not only unfair to that Friend, but it's not fair to yourself. Friendships are few and far between, and if you luck out enough to find a genuine friend, don't let that person go. If you are faced with an ultimatum like this, ask your Significant Other if they like you for you. If they do, then they should be able to accept the package that comes with you, friends included. And if they don't, then Significant Other needs to be with someone just like him/her. There are those who enjoy Significant Others who should have side jobs as police officers, and then there are those like me who don't have the time nor patience to humor someone else's jealousy and insecurities. Walk to your door, open it, and kindly let Significant Other walk out. After all that explaining, it's really not worth the trouble. Hell, if you're lucky, Friend will introduce you to someone less psychotic.

Article Source: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/292048/how_to_keep_the_peace_between_opposite_pg3.html?cat=41



~lOVE 2 B  lOVED

Countdown -Beyonce

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week: Only Girl In The World

Only Girl In The World
-Rihanna

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
[
VERSE 1]
I want you to love me, like I’m a hot pie
Keep thinkin’ of me, doin’ what you like
So boy forget about the world cuz it’s gon’ be me and you tonight
I wanna make your bed for ya, then imma make you swallow your pride
[
CHORUS]
Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man
Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only one…
[
VERSE 2]
Want you to take me like a thief in the night
Hold me like a pillow, make me feel right
Baby I’ll tell you all my secrets that I’m keepin’, you can come inside
And when you enter, you ain’t leavin’, be my prisoner for the night

[CHORUS]
Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands, like I’m the only one who knows your heart, only one…

[BRIDGE]
Take me for a ride
Oh baby, take me high
Let me make you first
Oh make it last all night
Take me for a ride
Oh baby, take me high
Let me make you first
Make it last all night

[CHORUS]
Want you to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world
Like I’m the only one that you’ll ever love
Like I’m the only one who knows your heart
Only girl in the world…
Like I’m the only one that’s in command
Cuz I’m the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man
Only girl in the world…
Girl in the world…
Only girl in the world…
Girl in the world…



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

31 Date Ideas That Are Perfect for Fall!

by Kim Fusaro

Whether you need first date ideas for a rendezvous with your crush or just want to do ANYTHING but dinner and a movie with your steady guy, I think you'll find this list of 31 fall-friendly dates inspiring!

Host an outdoor dinner party for two!

Get lost in a corn maze! (It's scarier than you think!)

Build a fort and snack on indoor S'mores!

Play two-man video games at the arcade! (The more old-school, the better!)

Jump in piles of fallen leaves!

Take a brewery tour and sample yummy beers!

Choose three cheeses you've both never tried and make a yummy cheese plate. (Don't forget the wine!)

Pick out a fun kit from a hobby shop (model race car! mini air plane!) and build it together.

Take a ride on a rented bicycle built for two!

Play an old-school board game!

Carve pumpkins!

Take a sight-seeing tour—on public transportation!

Play laser tag!

Ask a psychic what your futures hold!

Instead of a fancy-pants high-pressure dinner, meet for breakfast instead. (Mmm ... syrup!)

Visit the aquarium!

Whip up some (spiked!) milk and cookies.

Break out the sidewalk chalk and try your hand (er, feet) at hopscotch. Once you're done with hopping, move on to tic-tac-toe!

Find a cookbook at the library and pick something yummy to cook together! (Bring quarters for so you can photocopy the recipe!)

Bring a handful of pennies to a local fountain and make some wishe

Paint pottery together. (If your instincts tell you it's childish, ignore 'em!)

See if he's man enough to go for a pedicure with you! (I begged my husband before our wedding—and he wound up loving it!)

Take a walk on a deserted beach!

Challenge your crush to a push-up contest. Or ask him to join you for a Pilates class!

Rather than meet up for drinks, meet up for a cupcake! (Or two!)

Go to Target and pick out silly, inexpensive surprise gifts for each other! (Max price tag: $10!)

Spend an afternoon at a fall harvest festival!

Pay a visit to your local bingo hall and join the grandmas for a few rounds!

Take a long walk and hold hands the entire time!

Attend trivia night at a bar!

Visit a haunted house!

Article Source:http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2011/09/31-date-ideas-that-are-perfect.html

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A Message To Women From A Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

By Yashar Ali


You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already!

Sound familiar?

If you’re a woman, it probably does.

Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said?

When someone says these things to you, it’s not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling—that’s inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, “Calm down, you’re overreacting,” after you just addressed someone else’s bad behavior, is emotional manipulation—pure and simple.

And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It’s patently false and unfair.
I think it’s time to separate inconsiderate behavior from emotional manipulation and we need to use a word not in our normal vocabulary.

I want to introduce a helpful term to identify these reactions: gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a term, often used by mental health professionals (I am not one), to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.

The term comes from the 1944 MGM film, Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman. Bergman’s husband in the film, played by Charles Boyer, wants to get his hands on her jewelry. He realizes he can accomplish this by having her certified as insane and hauled off to a mental institution. To pull of this task, he intentionally sets the gaslights in their home to flicker off and on, and every time Bergman’s character reacts to it, he tells her she’s just seeing things. In this setting, a gaslighter is someone who presents false information to alter the victim’s perception of him or herself.

Today, when the term is referenced, it’s usually because the perpetrator says things like, “You’re so stupid” or “No one will ever want you” to the victim. This is an intentional, pre-meditated form of gaslighting, much like the actions of Charles Boyer’s character in Gaslight, where he strategically plots to confuse Ingrid Bergman’s character into believing herself unhinged.

The form of gaslighting I’m addressing is not always pre-mediated or intentional, which makes it worse, because it means all of us, especially women, have dealt with it at one time or another.

Those who engage in gaslighting create a reaction—whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness—in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren’t rational or normal.


My friend Anna (all names changed to protect privacy) is married to a man who feels it necessary to make random and unprompted comments about her weight. Whenever she gets upset or frustrated with his insensitive comments, he responds in the same, defeating way, “You’re so sensitive. I’m just joking.”

My friend Abbie works for a man who finds a way, almost daily, to unnecessarily shoot her down and her work product. Comments like, “Can’t you do something right?” or “Why did I hire you?” are regular occurrences for her. Her boss has no problem firing people (he does it regularly), so you wouldn’t know that based on these comments, Abbie has worked for him for six years. But every time she stands up for herself and says “It doesn’t help me when you say these things,” she gets the same reaction: “Relax; you’re overreacting.”

Abbie thinks her boss is just being a jerk in these moments, but the truth is, he is making those comments to manipulate her into thinking her reactions are out of whack. And it’s exactly that kind manipulation that has left her feeling guilty about being sensitive, and as a result, she has not left her job.

But gaslighting can be as simple as someone smiling and saying something like, “You’re so sensitive,” to somebody else. Such a comment may seem innocuous enough, but in that moment, that person is making a judgment about how someone else should feel.

While dealing with gaslighting isn’t a universal truth for women, we all certainly know plenty of women who encounter it at work, home, or in personal relationships.

And the act of gaslighting does not simply affect women who are not quite sure of themselves. Even vocal, confident, assertive women are vulnerable to gaslighting.

Why?

Because women bare the brunt of our neurosis. It is much easier for us to place our emotional burdens on the shoulders of our wives, our female friends, our girlfriends, our female employees, our female colleagues, than for us to impose them on the shoulders of men.

It’s a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it. We continue to burden women because they don’t refuse our burdens as easily. It’s the ultimate cowardice.

Whether gaslighting is conscious or not, it produces the same result: it renders some women emotionally mute.

These women aren’t able to clearly express to their spouses that what is said or done to them is hurtful. They can’t tell their boss that his behavior is disrespectful and prevents them from doing their best work. They can’t tell their parents that, when they are being critical, they are doing more harm than good.

When these women receive any sort of push back to their reactions, they often brush it off by saying, “Forget it, it’s okay.”
That “forget it” isn’t just about dismissing a thought, it is about self-dismissal. It’s heartbreaking.

No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. For years, they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them.

They say, “I’m sorry” before giving their opinion. In an email or text message, they place a smiley face next to a serious question or concern, thereby reducing the impact of having to express their true feelings.

You know how it looks: “You’re late ”

These are the same women who stay in relationships they don’t belong in, who don’t follow their dreams, who withdraw from the kind of life they want to live.

Since I have embarked on this feminist self-exploration in my life and in the lives of the women I know, this concept of women as “crazy” has really emerged as a major issue in society at large and an equally major frustration for the women in my life, in general.

From the way women are portrayed on reality shows, to how we condition boys and girls to see women, we have come to accept the idea that women are unbalanced, irrational individuals, especially in times of anger and frustration.

Just the other day, on a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles, a flight attendant who had come to recognize me from my many trips asked me what I did for a living. When I told her that I write mainly about women, she immediately laughed and asked, “Oh, about how crazy we are?”

Her gut reaction to my work made me really depressed. While she made her response in jest, her question nonetheless makes visible a pattern of sexist commentary that travels through all facets of society on how men view women, which also greatly impacts how women may view themselves.

As far as I am concerned, the epidemic of gaslighting is part of the struggle against the obstacles of inequality that women constantly face. Acts of gaslighting steal their most powerful tool: their voice. This is something we do to women every day, in many different ways.

I don’t think this idea that women are “crazy,” is based in some sort of massive conspiracy. Rather, I believe it’s connected to the slow and steady drumbeat of women being undermined and dismissed, on a daily basis. And gaslighting is one of many reasons why we are dealing with this public construction of women as “crazy”

I recognize that I’ve been guilty of gaslighting my women friends in the past (but never my male friends—surprise, surprise). It’s shameful, but I’m glad I realized that I did it on occasion and put a stop to it.

While I take total responsibility for my actions, I do believe that I, along with many men, am a byproduct of our conditioning. It’s about the general insight our conditioning gives us into admitting fault and exposing any emotion.
When we are discouraged in our youth and early adulthood from expressing emotion, it causes many of us to remain steadfast in our refusal to express regret when we see someone in pain from our actions.

When I was writing this piece, I was reminded of one of my favorite Gloria Steinem quotes, “The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.”

So for many of us, it’s first about unlearning how to flicker those gaslights and learning how to acknowledge and understand the feelings, opinions, and positions of the women in our lives.

But isn’t the issue of gaslighting ultimately about whether we are conditioned to believe that women’s opinions don’t hold as much weight as ours? That what women have to say, what they feel, isn’t quite as legitimate?


Article Source:http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/



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