No One Gonna Love You -Jennifer Hudson

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I Should Have Cheated -Keyshia Cole

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Frontin' -Pharrell & Jay-Z

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Love's Little Blind Spots

By Tim Jarvis
Oprah.com | From the April 2008 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

The power of your partner's self-absorption—how he or she can sit so cheerfully through dinner, oblivious to the fact that you're visibly upset, for example—may amaze you, but don't write off the relationship so fast. There are a couple of good excuses to explain such clueless behavior, and they're likely to apply to you as well.

The first excuse has to do with an innocent brain glitch called attentional blink. Originally described by Canadian scientists in 1992, it occurs in certain circumstances when, for a split second, "we literally become unconscious of what might be happening right in front of us," says Richard Davidson, PhD, professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison. Researchers can elicit the blink by showing subjects a rapid stream of numbers on a computer screen and asking them to hit a button every time they see a 3. When two 3s appear closely together, Davidson says, almost nobody hits the button twice. "It's as if the mind gets stuck on the occurrence of the first and misses the second."

This is particularly true when we're in a heated or passionate interchange. "With emotional cues, our attention is very sticky," he explains.

"We tend to grasp onto certain things, which is really what causes us to miss the others. Rubbernecking on the freeways is an example of attentional grasping." Davidson's latest research showed, however, that three months of intensive vipassana—or insight—meditation significantly reduced attentional blink. "Vipassana increases awareness of one's surroundings in a nonjudgmental, nonreactive way," Davidson says, but he believes any kind of meditation, even 20 minutes a day, could make spouses better at reading each other's subtleties.

There's another reason people fail to notice their lover's gestures, expressions, or words: "If you're doing well as a couple, basically you have a reservoir of goodwill, so he can be momentarily neglectful or mean-spirited, and it's discounted," says Timothy W. Smith, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Utah who studies the effects of marital interactions on health. "But couples not doing so well are quick to make a great deal of the lapse." Smith agrees that meditation can help spouses connect with more clarity and awareness.

Davidson recommends starting with a simple meditation of focusing on your breath; when your mind wanders, notice how it's distracted, and come back to your breathing. With regular practice, he says, "I believe a couple would be able to pick up more information about each other's emotional state and do it in a way that is not judgmental. The combination of those two things bodes quite well for improving interpersonal relationships."


Article Source:http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Get-and-Give-Attention-in-Your-Relationship/print/1



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Lyrics Of The Week: Night and Day

Night and Day
Al B. Sure


Woo
Ah, can you feel it, baby
I can
Ooh
Excuse me, do you think that I might be able to touch you
{Who me}

I can tell you how I feel about you night and day
How I feel about you (No, no)
I can tell you how I feel about you night and day
How I feel about you

I'll love you more in the rain or shine
And makin' love in the rain is fine
A love so good and I call it mine
Love is blind

I can tell you how I feel about you night and day
How I feel about you (No, no, no)
I can tell you how I feel about (Woo) you night and day
How I feel about you (Ho, oh...)

Believe me when I say that I do care (I can tell you)
I'd like to run my fingers through your hair (I can tell you)
Baby, if you left I could not bear (I can tell you)
Please don't share

Do you love me, please let me know (I can tell you)
Don't hide the feeling, just let it show (I can tell you)
A feeling so deep that comes within (I can tell you)
What kind of love am I in, ooh...

I can tell you how I feel (Uh, ho) about you night and day
How I feel about you (No, no, no)
I can tell you how I feel (Ooh) about you night and day
How I feel about you (Ho, oh...)

If you and I were one, girl
The love we'd share would be so fun
Just take my hand and you'll see, girl
That we'd take off into another world

I can tell you how I feel about you (Ooh) night and day (Uh-huh)
(Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh)
I can tell you how I feel (Woo) about you night and day
(I'll love you more in the rain or shine)

I can tell you how I feel about you night and day
(Night and day, night and day, night and day)
I can tell you how I feel (Woo) about you night and day
(Making love in the rain is fine)

I can tell you how I feel about you night and day
I can tell you how I feel about you night and day



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Bonnie & Clyde -Beyonce & Jay-Z

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Letting Go of the Past So You Can Enjoy Your Future

It's human nature to sometimes hold onto an event that has hurt, disappointed, or severed a relationship. No matter how long ago it happened, the wound can still be deep and hard to heal. But there are ways and things that you can do to help the healing process.

When a relationship is broken, one of the parties may not understand why or what happened that brought the relationship to an end. So it may help to discuss the issue with the person that was involved. It shouldn't be a conversation that stirs up an argument, but it should be more of a conversation to gain information for the benefit of both parties. For instance, you can ask if there was something that you could have done to prevent the problems or was there something that you should have done that you didn't. Although it doesn't sound like this would make a difference, it can bring closure to a situation so that you can get past it and move on with your life.

Since every person is different, they all have different ways to handle certain situations. But they shouldn't dwell on the "what ifs". They think, "what if" they would have done this, or "what if" they would have done that. But regardless of the question or answer it will not make the current situation any better. Mulling it over in the mind only adds to the problem and can bring about more issues to deal with.

When a person gets hurt, it can be devastating and many times their hurt turns into anger, anger into bitterness, and bitterness into unforgiveness. Living with unforgiveness has a way of damaging our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. For this reason it is important to forgive those that hurt you so that you can prevent other areas of your life from suffering.

Not only is it important to forgive the person that hurt you, it's important that you forgive yourself as well. We all have things that we struggle with, and there isn't anyone that is perfect. Yes you made a mistake but you have to forgive yourself for your part in the situation. Holding on to that guilt isn't good for you and will actually restrict you from enjoying your life.


Article Source:http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/507231/letting_go_of_the_past_so_you_can_enjoy.html?cat=5



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Quote Of The Week: Jesus, John 15:12

This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you.
~ Jesus, In John 15:12



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Poem Of The Week: Love?

By Monica


Love always seems to be true...

But when you need love to come through...

It will abandon you.

Love will blind you...

No one can find you.

You ignore friends...

and break what were to be long lasting mends.

Love will always hurt...

when it throughs you in the dirt.

But when love is true...

like the sky is blue...

It will save you.

Many people look everywhere...

and never notice the one thats there.


Source:http://www.ihatemen.com/poems.cfm?catid=7&status=1


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Lyrics Of The Week: Anything

(Verse 1)
Where I’m at
You don’t always know, this is you keepin’ track
I won’t ever trick out giving you the facts
There won’t ever be any need to dispute
Whether or not I’m tellin’ the truth
Cause I am

(Hook)
And I ain't got a thing to hide, no
Despite my reputation, yeah
Even though it's the world that I live in
You know that I'm with you
(Chorus)
So what you wanna know girl I’ll reply
You'll get every detail I ain't gonna lie
As long as you can promise you’ll do the same
Girl I will tell you everything, you can ask me anything

(Verse 2)
Who I'm with
Even if it happens to be some other chick
It's only business babe
So things don't need to trip
Baby you can come too
See it's whatever you like, you can choose, oh girl

(Hook)
Cause I ain't got a thing to hide, no
Despite my reputation, yeah
Even though it's the world that I live in
You know that I'm with you

(Chorus)
So what you wanna know girl I’ll reply
You'll get every detail I ain't gonna lie
As long as you can promise you’ll do the same
Girl I will tell you everything, you can ask me anything

(Swizz Beatz)
Music please...
Let me clear my throat
Slippers and a robe, while we on that boat
Matchin APs, yea that sound dope
Came from Aspen
We ridin in the Aston
Martin baby
Wit’ the Margella tux
Don’t’ worry about it, cause to me it’s small bucks
Five minutes, I could have you superstar status
Ten minutes I could have you global status
Autobahn express
Don’t worry bout nothing I got the rest
And that other dude is old now,
Let the music touch your soul child

(Musiq)
Anything you need to be a little more comfortable
I’m wit’ it
So keep the drama to yourself
Just quit it, yea
I’m way to grown to keep secrets
I’m way to grown
So I’ll leave you alone

(Chorus)
So what you wanna know girl I’ll reply
You'll get every detail I ain't gonna lie
As long as you can promise you’ll do the same
Girl I will tell you everything, you can ask me anything

Take every piece of information
See you can have it all
I ain’t gon’ front
As long as you can promise you’ll do the same
Girl I will tell you everything, you can ask me anything

(Swizz Beatz)
Hands up, Hands up, Hands up, Hands up, Hands up,
Ladies and Gentlemen
Hands up, Hands up, Hands up, Hands up, Hands up,
Its music time
Hands up, Hands up, Hands up, Hands up, Hands up,
Ladies and gentlemen



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Some Tips For Improving Interactions With Loved Ones

Share more. Be open and honest about what is really going on in your life. This will help others relate to you better and, in turn, open up to you.

Make time to talk. Agree to a time to chat each day. Consider setting a time limit, especially for couples where one person likes to talk more than the other. It helps the quiet person speak up—and the chatty one focus on what's really worth saying.

Go outside together. Being outdoors relieves stress and makes it easier to connect. There's also less need for direct eye contact, sometimes a good thing.

Discuss finances. Money is one of the most divisive issues in a relationship. Discuss it and decide how to manage it before it becomes a problem.

Turn off the computer. And the iPhone, TV and videogames.

Try talking without a screen in front of you. Too many families spend evenings with their separate electronic devices.

Make new friends. Research shows that high-quality relationships are important. Add to your support network by reaching out to someone you'd like to know better

Source:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203731004576045721718177728.html



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Love Ballad -L.T.D.

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Listen Up! Enrich Your Relationships Through Active Listening

By Jennifer L. Huget 


You probably think you're a pretty good listener. But unless you've studied the tenets of a process known as "active listening," you might be missing a lot.

Active listening calls for the listener to devote his full attention to the speaker, to genuinely care what the other person's saying and to encourage the speaker to keep talking.

It's the polar opposite of what most of us do every day, according to Virginia-based psychologist Elliott Jaffa, Ph.D.
"Active listening is like learning another language," explains Jaffa, who says most people are far more interested in what they themselves have to say rather than what others are saying to them.

"The opposite of listening," he explains, "is waiting." Instead of listening carefully, many people subconsciously send the message "I want you to hurry up and shut up so I can talk."

And while waiting for their turn to speak, people often don't pay attention to what others are saying. "They're too busy organizing what they're going to say," Jaffa explains.

Proponents of active listening say it can improve all sorts of relationships. Husbands and wives, parents and children, students and teachers, doctors and patients, and employees and bosses (and fellow employees) all can benefit from paying closer attention to what each other says as well as from using active listening as a means of showing respect to one another.

Why listening isn't always easy

Learning to listen well can be challenging, says Judi Brownell, Ph.D., former president of the River Falls, Wisc.-based International Listening Association and the author of two books on listening: Listening: Attitudes, Principles, and Skills (Allyn & Bacon, 3rd edition, 2005) and Building Active Listening Skills (Prentice Hall, 1986).

"The listener may struggle at first because so many of us have spent years focusing on getting our own messages across rather than on fully understanding someone else," she says. Active listening also "requires that the individual do something with what he or she hears."

"It begins with focused attention to the speaker and extends to comprehension, interpretation and evaluation of the message," says Brownell. "Remembering what is heard and responding appropriately are also included in the active listening process."

Active listening basics

In most instances, active listening consists of a few deceptively simple techniques:

• Offering encouragement by nodding or saying "uh-huh" or "I see"
• Restating the basic ideas, using terms such as "If I understand you correctly, ..." or "So what you're saying is ..."
• Reflecting on the feelings that the speaker is trying to convey: "Seems like that bothered you a lot ..."
• Summarizing the speaker's key ideas

Brownell says such a structured approach serves several purposes. "It allows the speaker to hear the message as interpreted by the listener and to adjust it if it has been misunderstood or is incomplete. It also prevents the listener from becoming judgmental, so that the speaker is free to express him/herself without becoming defensive," she says.

"The active listening response encourages the speaker to continue speaking," Brownell adds. "This type of listening is empowering because the speaker's thoughts and feelings are reflected and reaffirmed, providing a safe and supportive context."

At first, active listening techniques can seem stilted and artificial. But with practice, experts agree that you can learn to incorporate active listening skills seamlessly into your everyday conversations.
"Active listening is a learned behavior, but it's something anyone can learn," Jaffa says.

More tips

Jaffa offers these additional tips for becoming a proactive listener:

• Shut up. Stop talking.
• Cheat. Pick up a pencil and paper and take notes.
• Sit down with the person. Say, "Let's sit down and talk." This shows that what the person is saying is important.
• Be aware of your body language and facial expressions. If you keep looking over the speaker's shoulder to see who else is in the room, the speaker won't think that you're listening.
• Ask open-ended questions — and ask questions that will elicit the information you want to know.
• Ask for clarification. It's OK to say you're not sure what the speaker has said and to ask him to repeat himself.
• Paraphrase. Repeat the main ideas back to the speaker. But don't interrupt — wait until the speaker's finished their thought.

Article Source:http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/self/communication/active-listening



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Gone Baby Don't Be Long -Erykah Badu

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Lyrics Of The Week: Gone Baby Don't Be Long

Gone Baby Don't Be Long
-Erykah Badu


Du ru
Du Du Du ru
Du ru
Du ru
Du ru
Du Du Du ru
Du Du Du ru
Du ru

[Chorus]
As the the winds blows in passing
Baby I “think I’m falling in” love with you
Where you go, “when you’re” gone
baby, What you do
You know you gotta get your “hustle on”
“I” know you’ve got to get your hustle on
So baby gone, baby gone, don’t be long.
Baby gone, baby gone, don’t be long.
(Wu Wu Wu Wuuu)
Baby gone, baby gone, don’t be long.
Baby gone, baby gone, don’t be long.

[Verse 1]
Where you going why don’t you stop
Baby what’s the rush.
You got me felling like a girl with the fiendish crush. (hey)
Where you go, where you go,
I miss you much.
But I know you gotta get your hustle on.

[Chorus]
Gone, Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
(Uu Uuuu)
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
I know you gotta get your hustle on.
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
(Uu Uuuu)
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
I know you gotta get your hustle on.

[Verse 2]
I can’t wait to see what you do
Its not too much to follow you through
I can’t wait to see what you be
I’m gon’ be here ’cause I believe
So don’t go
There is only one thing I’m still asking
Why I feel you masking
If its love that you feel that is really real
And I know you gotta get your hustle on.
You laugh baby laugh what’s the rush
When we touch I wanna know if its love or lust
I fell like a girl with the fiendish crush
And I know you gotta get your hustle on.

[Chorus]
Gone, Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long. (gone baby)
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
(Uu Uuuu)
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
I can’t wait to see how you move. (how you move)
I try to watch what you do what you do (what you do)
I can’t wait to see what you be
I’m gon’ be here ’cause I believe
So don’t go, baby.
Gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
(Uu Uuuu)
So, gone Baby gone baby, don’t be long.
Gone baby, don’t be long.
Don’t be long
Uuu, baby don’t be long.



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