Quote of the Week: Robert Heinlein

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."  -Robert Heinlein

Lyrics Of The Week

Love and Happiness
-Al Green

Love and happiness...
something that can make you do wrong, make you do right...
Love...

Love and happiness
Wait a minute...
something's going wrong
someone's on the phone
three o'clock in the morning
talkin' about how she can make it right
well,
happiness is when you really feel good with somebody
nothing wrong with being in one with someone
oh, baby, love and happiness
love and happiness...
love and happiness...

Love and happiness
You be good to me
I'll be good to you
we'll be together
we'll see each other
walk away with victory
oh baby,
love and happiness...
love and happiness...

Make you do right... love'll make you do wrong...
make you come home early...
make you stay out all night long...
the power of love...

wait a minute,
let me tell you...
the power of love...
make you do right... love'll make you do wrong...
make you want to dance...
love and happiness...
love and happiness...

love is... wait a minute... love is...
walkin' together...
talkin' together...
say it again...
say it together...
Mmmm....

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

AL GREEN - LOVE & HAPPINESS.LIVE TV PERFORMANCE 1972

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i just want to make love to you - ETTA JAMES

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Jill Scott--The Fact Is (I Need You)

No matter what a woman can do on her own she needs her other half....







~lOVE 2 B lOVED

What to Do After He Cheats - Tips and Advice That May Help

By Katie Lersch


I get a lot of emails from wives and girlfriends who have found out that their husband or boyfriend has been cheating and are not at all sure how to handle it or how to proceed. Some common comments are things like: "I can't envision our relationship ever being the same again. This hurts so much, but I still love him. What do I do now?;" or "I just don't know what to do now. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I am filled with self doubt. I want to do something to move myself forward, but I just don't want to know what." I'll tell you the advice that I typically give in the following article.

Don't Take Any Drastic Action While You're Still Reeling From The Affair:
 It's so common to become so upset that you want to do something very drastic and lasting just to feel like you're doing something. This hurts so much that you want to fix it immediately. And, let's face it. It can feel momentarily good to lash out and make a huge scene or fuss. Sure, this relieves the tension for a short time, but often, you will come to regret these actions and decisions because you weren't thinking rationally when you made them.

Often we later regret these reactions. They don't paint us in a flattering light and sometimes they are just down right embarrassing. If you need to rage at something or someone, entrust this with a friend. Use your journal. There will be plenty of time to go off on your boyfriend or spouse when you've had the time to fully process this. But, give yourself some distance before you do. Your reacting very badly actually only gives your man more justification for doing what he did. Many women will see this as letting him off the hook. It really isn't. You will have your say, but wait until it's really you talking and not just your gut reaction.

Evaluate Why This Cheating Happened:
It's important that you understand exactly why the affair happened for many reasons. Whether it's with the man who cheated on you or not, you will have to pick up the pieces at some time. And, if any good comes out of this, it will likely be a better understanding of yourself and how you function in relationships. This cheating is not your fault, no matter what the state of the relationship was. Your spouse or boyfriend had many other available options. They chose to cheat instead. Do not beat yourself up for this decision on their part.

With that said though, take a look at any part that you may have had in this, even a small part. I'm not telling you to do this to blame yourself. I'm telling you to do this because any information that allows you improve, grow, and work on your own self knowledge and self confidence is a gift - no matter how you got it.

Whether you want to save your relationship or not, one day you will have to allow yourself to be vulnerable and trust again. This will be easier if you know why this happened so that you can prevent it from happening again.

Deciding Whether You're Better Off With Him Or Without Him:
Eventually, you will need to evaluate whether you want to cut your losses or want to rehabilitate your relationship with him. This often requires you to look past the hurt and rage and to evaluate his behaviors and actions prior to the affair. Because, there was a life before the cheating and either you were happy with it at one time or you weren't. Many times, we have a whole lot of history with this person and they do have many redeeming qualities, but we allow one act and one mistake to erase all of that. Again, I'm not excusing the cheating. I have felt the hurt of being cheated on and I would never excuse this. But, I also know that in order to move on, you need to separate the act from the man. You need to be able to think about whether he was good to you and for you before the cheating happened.

Sometimes, doing this will show you that he's never been that great for you and has pretty much always caused you pain and self doubt. Other times, this will help you see that he's been your rock and your partner until this one event. Only you can determine if it's worth hanging on and trying to work this out. But, I can tell you that people who are able to move on are able to separate previous history from one event.

Be "Selfish" And Focus On Yourself And What Makes You Happy:
 Many times, women make the period after the affair one that I call "all about him." They want to know why he did this, how he feels right now, what he's doing, and what's wrong with you that caused him to do this. I understand why these questions seem important. But, it's better to place your focus on yourself. Because, until you're OK with yourself, it really doesn't matter very much what your husband says. You're not going to believe him anyway. He can tell you that he will never do this again because he's committed to and loves you. He can reassure you that he still finds you beautiful and sexy and wants to be with you, but if you're still filled with anger, unhappiness and self doubt, you're not hearing a word he says and you continue to walk around dragging the anger and hurt behind you.

To move past this, you must create your own happiness and you must know that you are able to handle another's short comings because at the end of the day, you're all you really have and all you really need. You can get by just fine on your own, but you chose to be with him or not because it suits you and because it's what you want. You have to understand that you deserve and want the very best for yourself. You deserve nothing less than this. Only you can decide if your husband or boyfriend fits this bill. But your mind and your heart should be in a good place when you make this decision. It won't be in this place if you're not in a good place with yourself.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2381254

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Why Do Fools Fall In Love - Cameron J. & The Teenagers

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Anjulie "My Thrill"

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5 Things That Can Ruin Your Relationship

By Davian Masters

A perfect relationship can get ruined in an instant. Small problems, the lack of consideration and miscommunication could put an end to a great love story.

Sometimes, relationships end because of small problems that remain neglected until they turn into something major. Each relationship can evolve, as long as the two are willing to put effort and commitment in making it work. Otherwise, the issues will keep on piling up until either partner is unable to take any more.

Monotony
It has been some time since the relationship has last been exciting. The two can no longer surprise each other. Each day resembles the previous one. Partners know what to expect from each other and how to react in every situation.

Relationships end when monotony affects every aspect of being together. It is present in communication, in the bedroom and in the manner that the two handle difficulties together.

When a relationship turns into something routine, it will demand radical change for things to start working once again. Otherwise, the two risk remaining extremely unhappy for the rest of their lives.

Jealousy
Jealousy and the sense of possession have ruined many relationships. These feelings are far from constructive. They can cause pain, lack of trust and anger between partners.

Jealousy is far from a heated expression of love. This is to strive to control a partner's life. Love means letting each other live and enjoy life. Jealousy signifies trying to monitor and supervise everything that is happening.

Excessive jealousy is a serious issue that demands special attention if the relationship is to work. It kills intimacy and tenderness. There is nothing constructive about jealousy and everyone should be aware of the problems associated to it.

Being Excessively Critical
In the beginning of a relationship, partners try to make each other happy. They pay attention to words and signs of affection.

As the two get more comfortable with each other, they could become excessively critical. This criticism is often confused with open communication. Yet, criticism can be productive only when it is constructive and presented in a manner that is inoffensive.

Many people are exceptionally critical of their partner. This habit can often become the main reason for a breakup.

Lack of Intimacy The physical aspect of a relationship is just as important as the emotional and intellectual connection.

Some couples stop having sex after some time. The excitement wears off. It is no longer something passionate, it now becomes a duty. Sexual life routine kills the relationship just like the lack of communication does.

Sexual problems need special attention. Sex is an integral part of a relationship. Problems in the intimate sphere will lead to tension and anger, which can ultimately lead to the end of the love story.

No Compromise A relationship is sometimes connected to painful decisions. It demands compromise and the willingness to support a partner during difficult times. Coping with each other's peculiarities can often become an issue.

The lack of compromise can ruin a relationship. Two different individuals cannot coexist without giving up some personal freedoms. It is all about discovering the right atmosphere and the balance between individuality and being part of a couple.

Many relationships are ruined because of simple issues that partners had difficulties overcoming together.

Love can sometimes end because of the most ridiculous misunderstanding. A strong relationship requires communication and cooperation. If these are missing, staying together and being happy could be a challenge.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5908963





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Nate Dogg Featuring Snoop Dogg - Never Leave Me Alone

R. I. P. Nate Dogg






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Have Realistic Expectations in Relationships 3 of 3

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Have Realistic Expectations in Relationships 2 of 3

Such good advice....








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Christina Aguilera - Ain't No Other Man

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Have Realistic Expectations in Relationships (Joel Olsteen) 1 of 3

Nobody is perfect....grant people the grace to be human.







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Joe - What if a woman

Could you stand inside her shoes and walk a mile??.....








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Erykah Badu - "Gone Baby, Don't Be Long" Offical Video

I love this...







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Shirley Murdock - Go On Without You

So Powerful....So sweet....So honest







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Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I am (Music video)

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Lyrics Of The Week

The Way I Am

Written by Ingrid Michaelson

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match

Cuz I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching; I'll make it better

Cuz I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am




~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Ways To Keep A Relationship Interesting

Honestly, these are some of the greatest ways to keep your relationship fun, happy, and interesting.


By Noah Forrest

No.10 Throw parties

One of the biggest mistakes that a couple can make is to spend every second with just each other. By just throwing a party and inviting both of your groups of friends over, not only will you be introducing some of your buddies to some new ladies, but you’ll also have an opportunity to be around each other without being attached to one another; this is a great way to keep a long-term relationship interesting. You can play some poker with your bros while she entertains her friends, or you can spend your time meeting some of her friends while she does the same. It will be enriching, exciting and most of all, fun.

No.9 Visit someplace new

If you guys end up going to the same restaurants all the time, you’ll inevitably be spending a lot of time retreading the same ground. By going to a new city, a new beach or a new hotel, you’ll be opening up a wide range of new conversations and it's a great way to keep a long-term relationship interesting.

It’s wonderfully revitalizing for any relationship to be put in a situation where you’re on equal footing, both unaware of how exactly this new place operates. And when it’s time to go back to the hotel room at the end of the day, you’ll be able to enliven your love life on an entirely different bedspread.

No.7 Give gifts

Giving a gift to someone not only lets them know you love them, but also that you’ve been thinking of them when they weren’t around. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant or pricey, it just has to be something from the heart that your partner would really enjoy. Even if they tell you that it’s unnecessary and not to buy it, it’s very much necessary for the future health of your relationship and a great way to keep a long-term relationship interesting.

No.6 Make surprise visits

Don’t be a stalker, but every once in a while pop into her work and take her out for lunch or just stop by to say hello. It’s the same reasoning behind getting her a gift; it’s a reminder to her that you were thinking of her. However, the difference with this way to keep a long-term relationship interesting is that not only were you thinking of her, but the thought of her imbued you with an urgent need to see her at once. Isn’t that romantic? Well, she'll think so.

No.5 Go on dates

Hey, just because you’ve been dating a while doesn’t mean you should shirk your duties as a gentleman. And a date doesn't mean you take her to that local Mexican place you always go to. Instead, do some planning and make a reservation someplace affordable, but romantic. Open the door for her, order some wine and dessert and hold her hand if she wants to. Make it a regular thing, weekly or bi-weekly depending on your budget and schedules. It might seem like a lot of work, but it’ll make your relationship stronger and healthier in the long run.

No.4 Set goals together

This is a great way to reinvigorate not only your long-term relationship, but your ambition. Sit down with your partner and decide where you guys want to be in the long-term -- neighborhood, house, kids, jobs, etc. -- and how to get there. Ask each other for advice about how best to accomplish those goals and once they are accomplished. And don’t just stop there, set new goals: health, comfort, happiness, redecorating, and so on. There are always ways to better yourself and your relationship, and it’s better to do it together than separately.

No.3 Try new things in the bedroom

Trust us, there is always something that you haven’t tried. Let’s face it, if you’ve been with someone for a long time, it inevitably gets a little monotonous in the bedroom with both partners wanting to just get their kicks and go to bed. However, if you really want to give your long-term relationship staying power, give a little extra effort in the bedroom: bring in some sex toys if she wants (or if you want); bring on the whips and chains; or pour some candle wax. These things don’t have to sound appealing to you, but give them a try anyway and you might be surprised. At the very least, you’ll have shared a new experience together.

No.2 Introduce a third party

Ultimately, every couple will make that fateful decision to add someone new to the mix. Get your minds out of the gutter, we’re talking about bringing a child into the world. There is nothing that will bond a couple quite like having something to care for together, something that is more important than each other. If you’re not quite ready to take that step (and don't have a child simply because the relationship is in trouble and needs patching, it is not a fix-all solution), then think about bringing in a dog, a cat or even a goldfish, any being that both of you can care for and love.

No.1 Discover things together

In the end, the best way to keep a long-term relationship interesting is the easiest thing you can do: Add that element of “new” to your life and your long-term relationship. Take a cooking class together, do yoga with each other or take dancing lessons. Hell, just take her to a new museum once in a while. The bottom line is that you want to be with each other, but it’s always better to have something in common that you can discuss together. The stuff in the bedroom, that’s the easy part, but finding someone you actually want to talk to afterward, that’s the tough part. And when you finally get that, keep searching for something new to converse about and keep that initial feeling alive for the years ahead.




~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Quote Of The Day

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage" -Lao Tsu



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How To Help Your Girlfriend Or Wife During Her Period

Once a month comes an unimaginable monster. This monster goes by the term "PMS". Whether your a girl or a guy, periods are no fun. This time, however, can be a great way to bond, if the you take the right steps. Below I have listed ways in which a guy can really pull through for his significant other during her painful and uncomfortable monthly visit.

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Heating pad
• massage oil
• snacks
• a good movie
• bath oils

1. Remember that unless you're trying to get pregnant a period should be a happy time for a couple. They can be a source of great relief for a couple, so don't think of them as all bad.
2. Go to the store and buy a heating pad, massage oil, bath oil, your girlfriend or wife's favorite snacks and rent a few good movies.
3. Surprise you significant other with a movie and massage during her period it really helps the pain and get her mind off of her period. I have also noticed a tremendous improvement in mood of my girlfriend during and after.
4. You can also have her sit with the heating pad on her stomach. The heating pad is one of the best ways to help period pain. Remember to read all the warnings for the heating pad first though.
5. Get her, her favorite snacks because along with periods usually comes cravings. This is a good way to improve her mood.
6. Make her a nice hot bath with bath oils and let her sit in the tub by herself or join her.
7. If you spend sometime during her period to help her it will make her appreciate you way more and might make her periods easier on both of you.

source:http://www.ehow.com/how_5264967_girlfriend-wife-during-her-period.html

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Relationship Problems and Facebook: How to keep Social Networking from Hurting your Relationship

By Jennie Estes


Is Facebook helping or hurting your relationship?

On a weekly basis I have clients sitting on my therapy couch and sharing how Facebook was involved in some part of their relationship.  Some state that they use Facebook when they are feeling insecure in the relationship; investigating their partner’s activity with others, combing through the friends list in search for a red-flag person, searching for signs that the relationship is off-track, or looking for inappropriate comments.  Other clients have stated that they watch their partner’s (or soon to be partner) relationship status as a sign of whether their relationship is in tack, broken-up, or in the works.   Other people use it to keep an eye on their ex, to look up a crush, to share their relationship’s dirty laundry, or to addicted to the online banter, etc.  The list is endless!
Facebook isn’t the problem….it is the relationship dynamics and our human reactions that get in the way.

Here are a few tips on how to prevent your relationship from getting hurt through the use of Facebook:

• Jealousy and Drawing a Line: If your relationship already has the jealousy-syndrome, then Facebook won’t help.  The use of this social media can really magnify the insecurities because you don’t get to see the “behind the scene” interactions between other people.  If you are feeling insecure, maybe you and your partner shouldn’t have FB.  Remember, the one sentence post or new friendships can be taken out of context, misinterpreted, or misconstrued. It can also create an alarm or a temptation….for either investigating or flirting.  You may need to draw the line to the use of Facebook or delete the account.
• Check-In, Don’t Assume: Posts by your partner, friends, or colleagues are three words to three sentences about their world they are in.  You aren’t in their world, but you get a sneak peak at their world.  Since you don’t have all the back ground to that person’s post, your view of it may be completely off based.  Check-in with the other person if you have concerns about a post and get the entire story.  Don’t just watch and wait for the Facebook relationship status to change or get hidden, and don’t just assume that someone isn’t taking care of themselves by simply reading a two lined message.  Take a leap and talk to the other person before you assume.
• Be SUPER clear: If your relationship is already on the rocks, be super duper clear with your posts.  Don’t post ambiguous posts, such as “Things that make you go hmmmm…”  You might be brainstorming on your next project at work, but your partner may read it after getting off the phone with you and worry that you may be in debate about the relationship, or uncertain about the bond.  Even though it might not say much to you, it could spark a sensitive cord with your partner.  Give a bit more info so it shows more of your world, such as “Things that make you go hmmmm…. brain storming for work.”  The clearer you are, the less you have to explain.
• Post Safe Topics: Use safe topics posts that won’t strike a cord or can be misinterpreted.  Safe topics may include what are doing for the day, how your work day is going, or maybe a few of your favorite quotes.
• Don’t air your Relationship Dirty Laundry: Your feelings may be consuming you and all you want to do is let it out…on Facebook.  Posting your relationship problems won’t fix them.  It simply posts your dirty laundry to the public and causes more problems.  Instead, address the issue directly with your partner.  It isn’t that people don’t care about your relationship and your struggles, but posting your issues and complaining about it isn’t appropriate…nor will it get you anywhere.  Not everyone needs to know the nitty-gritty about your relationship. Think twice before you post.  It is a public forum.
• Change your Privacy Settings: Sometimes personal life really shouldn’t mix with business, or certain people shouldn’t know your daily life activities.  Change your privacy settings so that co-workers, family, and friends have limited access.  Remember, people don’t know exactly what is going on in your world, and they may interpret your posts wrong.  Piecing together someone’s life by facebook posts is very common, yet very challenging to get the puzzle pieces to fit exactly.  Filter who can and cannot see your postings; save yourself a lot of pain and heart ache.
• Include your Partner: Instead of having the Facebook individual and separate, include your partner by either going on together or having a joint account. The relationship could improve drastically by simply bonding over an online social experience as a team.  Allow your partner to sit next you while you go on, helping reassure them.  Discuss what would feel comfortable for the two of you and find a way to include one another.
• Cut back: It is very very easy to caught up(or addicted) to the social networking and you could find daily surfing increasing and checking your cell phone for updates, or wakeup/go to bed to facebook.  You might cross a line and focus on what your family member has posted that it impacts your day.  Either way, your interactions with FB are hindering you and your relationships.  Cut back.  Know when to say no and let go of the steam.  If you are on it all the time, show your partner they priority and more important than Facebooking and cut back on your FB Addiction.  J
• Delete the Red-Flag Friends: Sometimes people may cross a line by posting inappropriate messages or flirty comments.  If this person is a red-flag for either you or your partner, it may be time to delete them from friend’s list or you may need to confront the issue straight on.  Being friends with a “red-flag” won’t help the relationship heal, improve a bond, or help your partner feel comfortable with you.  It tends to have the opposite effect.  If in doubt…press delete.

~lOVE 2 B lOVED