Beyoncé - Sweet Dreams (Live at Wynn Las Vegas)

She is always amazing live, and this song is so relatable.







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Keeping Your Relationship Happy Through Tough Economic Times

By Victoria Tiegert

There are few, if any, people today who will try to deny that the economy has taken a serious downturn recently. This is causing many people more stress and anxiety than they've ever experienced before. These negative emotional responses are rooted in the financial struggles of their lives, but they spill over into other areas of their lives, as well, such as their relationships, their career satisfaction, and their health.

Depression, both long-term clinical and temporary situational, is becoming evident in more individuals and families than usual. We all need to figure out how to beat the blues and get through this challenging time while keeping our smile and inner peace. Here are some ways that you can do this.

*Prioritize

In most people's lives, there has been a lack of prioritizing in recent years. This is probably because we haven't had to. We could have it all, for the most part. There were jobs available, there was extra money at the end of the month, there were opportunities for investments, and all without having to make much sacrifice to speak of. Today, that has changed. We can't always have it all and must make determinations of what is most important for us.

*Take Back the Controls

That out of control feeling is not a good one for any of us. In order to be in control of your own financial outlook, you need to figure out where you currently are, how you got here, and how you are going to get where you want to be. To do this, you must sit down with your bills and income statements and make a good budget that is going to work for you.

*Back to Basics

For a long time, most of us have lived with things that were not only unnecessary, but also unused. For example, we had a home phone that no one ever used or even paid attention to, yet we paid the bill every month without blinking an eye. We recently got rid of it and haven't missed it a bit. How many things can you think of that you are paying for but not really getting the benefit of that you once did? Narrowing down our bills to what we actually need helps a lot in cutting down the amount of money that we need for our expenses.

*Time over Money

The Benefits of Forgiveness

by Elizabeth Scott, M.S.


Betrayal, aggression, and just plain insensitivity: People can hurt us in a million ways, and forgiveness isn’t always easy. Whether you’ve been cut off in traffic, slighted by your mother-in-law, betrayed by a spouse, or badmouthed by a co-worker, most of us are faced with a variety of situations that we can choose to ruminate over or forgive. But forgiveness, like so many things in life, is easier said than done.
 
Forgiveness can be a challenge for several reasons. Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us: “That’s OK. Why not do it again?” Forgiveness can be difficult when the person who wronged us doesn’t seem to deserve our forgiveness -- it’s hard to remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one who is forgiven. Ultimately, forgiveness is especially challenging because it’s hard to let go of what’s happened. However, it’s important to let go and forgive. Here are some reasons why:

• Forgiveness is good for your heart -- literally. One study from the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found forgiveness to be associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as stress relief. This can bring long-term health benefits for your heart and overall health.
• A later study found forgiveness to be positively associated with five measures of health: physical symptoms, medications used, sleep quality, fatigue, and somatic complaints. It seems that the reduction in negative affect (depressive symptoms), strengthened spirituality, conflict management and stress relief one finds through forgiveness all have a significant impact on overall health.
• A third study, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that forgiveness not only restores positive thoughts, feelings and behaviors toward the offending party (in other words, forgiveness restores the relationship to its previous positive state), but the benefits of forgiveness spill over to positive behaviors toward others outside of the relationship. Forgiveness is associated with more volunteerism, donating to charity, and other altruistic behaviors. (And the converse is true of non-forgiveness.)

So, to sum it up, forgiveness is good for your body, your relationships, and your place in the world. That’s reason enough to convince virtually anyone to do the work of letting go of anger and working on forgiveness.

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Quote Of The Week

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."  ~Harriet Beecher Stowe



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loving you minnie riperton

The words this song are simple and sweet....Show your partner how wonderful you feel being in love with them....and how wonderful it is making love to them.









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Lyrics Of The Week: Loving You

Loving You
-Minnie Riperton


Loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful,
and making love with you is all I wanna do.
Loving you is more then just a dream come true,
and everything that I do is out of loving you.

la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la...do do do doo ohhhhhhhh

No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring.
Stay with me while we grow old and we will live each day in the springtime.
'Cause loving you has made my life so beautiful,
and everyday of my life is filled with loving you.

Loving you, I see your soul come shining through,
and everytime that we, oohh..
I'm more in love with you.

la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la...do do do doo ohhhhhhhh

No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring,
Stay with me while we grow old and we will live each day in the springtime.
'Cause loving you is easy 'cause you're beautiful,
and every day of my life is filled with loving you.
Loving you, I see your soul come shining through,
and everytime that we, oohh..
I'm more in love with you.

la la la la la, la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la la la, do do do doo...oohhhhh.





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10 Relationship Rules for Facebook

By Chelle

Facebook is a great site that many people use for staying in touch with friends and family all over the world. But it can spell out big trouble for your relationship if you’re not careful. Here are some do’s and don’t for Facebook to help keep your relationship a happy one.

Rule #1: Don’t Post Potentially Embarrassing Things: This rule is for every time you feel inclined to write “Didn’t sleep a wink last night because hubby snored all night” or “Ew, just puked my guts out”. No one needs to know these things, and it doesn’t really give a good impression of yourself – or your mate.

Rule #2: Don’t Kiss and Tell: Not everyone wants that image of you and someone else doing anything slightly intimate together. Details are not necessary. Besides – that’s best kept between just the two of you.

Rule #3: Don’t Describe Your Life Together Minute By Minute: I have a friend who every single post is about her her boyfriend and what he is doing every minute of the day. “Made toast today for breakfast…with ♥Steve♥” is soon followed up 20 minutes later with “Watched the news…with ♥Steve♥”. It’s not a healthy obsession.

Rule #4: Don’t Get in Arguments Online: I also have friends who frequently fight with each other online. He posts: “Wife broke my computer” She posts: “I did not”. He posts: “Yes, you did”. She posts: Did not, you total jerk”. Does anyone really want to get in the middle of that? Or need to hear it? Keep the arguments offline.

Rule #5: Don’t Spend Too Much Time on Facebook: If you are spending hours of your day online on social networking sites, you may want to try taking some time away and doing something constructive for your relationship instead.

Rule #6: Don’t Dump Someone on Facebook: These days with social networking sites being the easiest and most nonconfrontational way to communicate with someone, it can be tempting to use it to break up with someone. But it’s not going to make it any easier, especially if your friends start chiming in to the conversation.

Rule #7: Consider the Audience: Some people will likely over analyze everything you write and make it into a very big ordeal when it really isn’t. This is especially true of in-laws, who may then cause grief for your partner over something you wrote.

Rule #8: Don’t Friend Exes: There is nothing worse to your partner than seeing you have exes in your friends list or commenting on your status updates. Exes should stay exes – and no matter how long it’s been or how far away they live, don’t be tempted to add them to your friends.

Rule #9: Know What Your Partner Deems Okay: Is your partner okay with you having 200+ friends of the opposite sex who you chat with online? If your partner’s not okay with it, you probably shouldn’t do it.

Rule #10: Make Sure Your Statuses Match: If you are married, you and your partner should both say you are married. If one of you has a single status, you have to wonder why


Article Source:http://www.itmightbelove.com/2010/07/26/10-relationship-rules-for-facebook/



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Tips To Make Your Partner Love You Today And Every Day

By Nafa Danfad

Being in love is bliss. Every one of you here would wish to throw yourself into it. Just envisage the butterflies in your stomach when you fall in love with someone for the first time, and how much you do not want that moment to end.

That hypothetically marks the beginning of a powerful bond being created by two people who have been head over heels for each other. Unfortunately...that may not sum up the relationship you wish to get yourselves into.

And that sparkling jiffy does not affirm the everlasting love that it should be...So here is the question of the day, "How can I make my relationship stay intact forever?"

The primary hurdle in a relationship is the inborn difference between a man and a woman. Well, as the saying goes, one man's meat is another man's poison. What a man likes may not be well liked by the woman, and vice versa. So the key to winning each other's heart at all times...is by understanding the needs and wants of the opposite sex.

Here are some tips for both the men and the women to take note:

1. It is alright for a man to be short-tempered, but only if there is a valid reason to back that up, such as if you have found out that your girlfriend is evidently betraying you. Sometimes a man likes to make the girlfriend the 'punching bag' after a bad day. Still, try to grip hold of yourself. You can always talk it out, and rest assured, she would give you her listening ear.

2. A woman can get so carried away by her emotions that she may flout the fact that the man needs to be emotionally comforted too. So if you know that he is facing a calamity and needs to be heard, try to set aside your problems first and help him out. You must take into account that his problem may be bigger than yours, and that these problems may turn him into someone you do not wish to see. So give him some space. And then when he feels a little bit better, you are all set to tell yours to him.

3. A woman would never ask for anything more than just love, attention and empathy. So to the man, try to look at these aspects as something that is not such a big burden to carry. After all, they do not cost you money. All you need to do is just spend a little time making her smile.

4. This is especially a great idea for the woman. Cook something! Because your cooking can make the relationship go a long way. After all, the key to his heart is by filling his empty stomach.

5. The woman should put a smile on the face. A woman's smile can bring peace to the heart and mind. And if the man gets to see it, it would brighten up his darker moments.

6. With the presence of technology, there is not much of an excuse for you not to make a call or send a text message. Set aside just a few seconds or minutes off your busy time, and that would make his or her day and night complete.

7. When one turns into fire, the other should be the water to put the fire out. Yes! That is so vital, and would be pleasing to each other.

8. Come what may, just stick with each other. Both of you will feel lucky to have each other and make you just want to be with each other for life.

Now those are what it takes to keep the relationship rolling! To all couples, may your love life stay strong and blissful till the end of time!

Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nafa_Danfad

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Hill Harper Talks the Legacy of Black Love

From: Heart and Soul Magazine

By Niema Jordan

It’s February, and while some may be worried about the cold, a lot of us have our minds on the Africa-American legacy and, of course, love. We decided to chat with a man who has proved to care deeply about both, Hill Harper. Although it’s been more than a year since the first edition of his book The Conversation was released, Harper is still doing his best to make sure men and women become friends again in order to channel the incredible energy force called love, and build strong families to continue our rich legacy.

Heart & Soul: What can we learn about black love from our elders?
Hill Harper: As I talk about in The Conversation, it’s my grandparents’ relationship on both sides that I have to look to for inspiration about staying together and building a strong family. Unfortunately, just like many of my peers of my generation and younger, my parents didn’t stay together and I was raised by a single parent, so that example isn’t there for us.

H&S: For the folks who don’t have family to reference, to whom can they look in history for a model of black love and family?
They don’t even have to go as far as history. Just look at the Obamas. I think that they’re a good example of a strong African-American family where neither one would be as accomplished as they are but for the presence of the other, and that is what I’m talking about reinforcing. So many of us in our community are taught to be independent. Part of the problem with learning that type of lesson is that you don’t realize that the flip side of that is that you can only get so far by yourself. We all can be better and do more in partnership.

In The Conversation you talk about the shift from two-parent homes to single-parent homes. Why is the nuclear family structure important to the African-American legacy?
If you start looking at all of the data points that are negative for our families, they track one to one as our nuclear family began to disintegrate. Family is critical in our culture and for our success and our survival, and it always has been. There was a strategic effort during slavery to break up families. If you attempt to dis-empower an individual by breaking up their family, that shows there must have been recognition of strength and power of family in terms of our legacy.

What are some of the lessons you’ve learned since the book’s release?
What I’ve learned from The Conversation, which my intuition told me but now I know for sure, is that when we are communicating it is very difficult for us to ask each other the tough questions. It’s very difficult for us to really communicate because there’s so much baggage. Sometimes we’ve already created within a relationship or we bring in some past stuff that many of us, men and women, we’re not communicating. If we as men and women don’t become friends again and don’t communicate, then we can’t fix the bigger problems.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, what are some of the ways folks can use this holiday as a way to create dialogue about healthy relationships?
I recommend that people have what I call conversation parties (but they can call it whatever they want). That’s just inviting groups of people over with no agenda–folks can be married, single; the main thing is make sure it’s a mixed-gender group–and just enjoy each other’s company, but put questions in a hat and start talking about relationships and love and then folks get new ideas about how to love each other and how to be friends.

If you could say one last thing to our readers about the power and importance of black love, what would it be?
The power and importance of black love is the same power and importance of love period. I believe that love is an energy. It is a force and it’s meant to be given out. The beautiful thing about it is as you give it out, it’s reciprocal,  and it eventually makes its way back to you. Love is the greatest thing we have, but it’s not meant to be held, it’s meant to be given. If you focus on the giving of love, the way the universe works, it has to find it’s way back to you



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How Microbicides Could Forever Change HIV for Black Women

by Akiba Solomon

If you’re not directly involved in HIV/AIDS research, prevention or treatment, the word microbicide probably means as much to you as, say, integrase inhibitor S/GSK1349572. (For the record, that’s an anti-HIV drug that’s in clinical trials.) But, as Colorlines recently reported, microbicide researchers have brought us one step closer to an HIV prevention method that women can use—strictly on their terms. It’s potentially revolutionary.

Scientists have been trying out different forms of microbicides for some 15 years. Those tests, which were publicly funded for the most part, have failed to stop HIV transmission. But at last summer’s International AIDS Conference, South African researchers unveiled a clear, odorless, flavorless gel form of the HIV-fighting drug tenofovir that women can insert into their vaginas with a plastic applicator. In their multi-year trial of nearly 900 sexually active South African teens and women ages 18 to 40, those who used the gel 12 hours before and after sex reduced their risk of contracting HIV by up to 54 percent. (The gel also reduced participants’ risk of contracting herpes by 51 percent; that’s important because having herpes doubles the risk of contracting HIV.) If a second trial is successful, microbicides could hit the global market as soon as 2014.

That’s a scientific victory that’s been hailed as a potential turning point in the global epidemic, but it will also be of particular importance to black folks in the United States, who make up nearly half of all new HIV infections but only 13 percent of the population. And black women—who are most often infected through sex with men—are 15 times more likely to be diagnosed with HIV than white women. Among AIDS cases in women ages 13 to 24, black women make up a staggering 62 percent. This Monday was National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, which is meant to call attention to these disparities.

This year marks 30 years since this epidemic officially began. During that time, it’s become an increasingly black one for many complicated reasons. As Kai Wright wrote earlier this week, HIV preys upon poverty globally, and poverty rates are remarkably high in black America. So are rates for myriad other preventable health problems—why should we expect HIV to be any different? Studies have long established that black people overall have less access to care than other Americans, and that the care they get is poorer. That poor care echoes through HIV in many ways—less testing so folks don’t know they’re positive and, thus, are less likely to protect their partners; more undiagnosed STDs among young women in particular, which spikes the likelihood of HIV infection.


Then there’s the tipping point theory. HIV, like other infectious diseases, spreads exponentially—in close-knit communities like many black neighborhoods, the more infection that’s out there, the more new infections there will be. And all of that’s before you get to the many social factors that conspire with poverty, incarceration rates and misinformation to fuel the fire.

In short, black America could stand some help from prevention science. Enter, microbicides.
“For 20 plus years, HIV prevention initiatives to address women’s and girls’ distinct vulnerability to HIV has been based on having them be ‘empowered [enough]’ to get their sexual partners to put a condom on a sex organ that is not their own,” says Tracie Gardner, the founder and coordinator of the Women’s Initiative to Stop HIV/AIDS NY at the New York City-based Legal Action Center. “Because this is inherently backwards, we should not be surprised that in 2011 black women and girls bear a disproportionate burden of HIV/AIDS in this country and all over the world.”

Black girls and young women are growing up in an era still defined by misinformation about sex—abstinence-only education alongside a hyper-sexualized media; the AIDS-as-chronic-manageable-disease assumption; the constant drumbeat about the threat of so-called “down low” black men; the related and ever-present cultural obsession with the alleged dearth of eligible black men. In this chaos, an easy-to-use HIV prevention method that doesn’t require sophisticated negotiation and communication skills is critical.
Tarana Burke, who has done in-depth sexuality and self-esteem workshops with African-American girls ages 12 to 18 in Selma, Ala., and Philadelphia, says she would incorporate an effective microbicide into her curriculum if one became available. Her girls, as she calls them, are dealing with an onslaught of adult-sized problems, from familial sexual abuse to physically abusive boyfriends to lack of consistent health care to cripplingly low self-esteem due to colorism. Of particular concern, says Burke, the co-founder of a grassroots girls-centered organization called JustBEInc., are the advances of grown men who “manipulate and exploit” her already-vulnerable girls.

“In my workshops, I’ve had girls who are literally being paid for sex,” says Burke. “I’ll never forget one 14-year-old I taught who admitted that she was meeting up with a 20-year-old man once a week at a hotel. He would pay her cell phone bill, get her nails and hair done, and take her to the Olive Garden; she would have [unprotected] sex with him. That manipulation is too common among the girls I’ve worked with.”

In this kind of situation, it’s easy to imagine how all the efforts in the world to empower a young woman to insist upon condoms wouldn’t get far.

“For too many [black] women, especially those living below the poverty line, the mere act of saying, ‘Look dude, you need to use a condom’ and that actually happening, isn’t a reality,” says Kellee Terrell, an HIV/AIDS activist and the news editor for TheBody.com. “To have this gel that a woman could discreetly inject could give her some sexual autonomy.”

Disproportionate HIV risk isn’t limited to black girls and young women. African American women over 50 are among the fastest growing populations living with HIV and AIDS. And many 50-plus women are also making decisions that make them vulnerable to the virus.

Take Brenda, 64, an HIV-negative Philadelphia retiree who recently became engaged to a truck driver five years her junior. For the first three months of their relationship, he refused sex saying he wanted to wait until marriage. But Brenda insisted. “I got tested before we were intimate to show him that I was clean. It was like, ‘See, I’m free of disease. I don’t have shit. Give me some please,’ ” she jokes. When she and her beau finally had sex, they used condoms.

But while Brenda scheduled an HIV test for her man at a local black AIDS service organization, he never got around to it. Then, once they got engaged, they started having condom-free sex. “I know it sounds foolish, but for me it’s a trust thing,” she admits. “I know the stereotype about truck drivers—that they pay for sex. And I know all about AIDS, but I know that he’s being monogamous and that he’s not wild.”

For women like Brenda, an effective microbicide wouldn’t be a magic bullet. It wouldn’t address the underlying emotional factors or guarantee that she’d stay HIV free. But they would certainly give her another tool to protect herself without suggesting she doesn’t trust her fiancee. And that, says Gardner, is the point here.

“The same way we pushed and won acknowledgement of the drugs that interrupt [mother to child] HIV transmission and the clean syringe to interrupt HIV transmission due to inject drugs, we must prioritize the research on and advocacy of microbicides. To continue the silence on this means that black women and girls don’t matter and that no one cares about them. That is unacceptable to me.”




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Quote Of The Week

"The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident." -Sir Hugh Seymour Walpole




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Destiny's Child - Cater 2 U

This song is one of my favorites...you should always cater to the one you love.






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Almost Half of Couples Actually Break up on Valentine's Day

A survey has found that Valentine's Day, which is touted as a day of love, is being used by almost half of young people in Australia for breaking up.

A Galaxy Research survey of more than 1200 people aged 18-39 has found 47 percent have chosen to end it with their partner on or around Valentine's Day after taking stock of their relationship.

Commissioned by big-four bank NAB the relationships survey found most young Australians, 57 percent, did not like the day nor did they want to celebrate it as the most romantic of the year.

Almost half - 44 percent - of respondents said Valentine's Day was a cynical marketing exercise designed to make couples shower each other with flowers, chocolates or underwear, while one-in-four singles saw it as a day of dread and a time to feel bad about themselves.

The survey has been launched as part of a cheeky anti-Valentine's Day campaign spear-headed by social commentator and author Zoe Foster to encourage people to evaluate their relationships, including with their banks.

Foster, who co-wrote ''Textbook Romance'' with radio funny man Hamish Blake, said that while for some couples Valentine's Day could be filled with happiness it was also a time when couples assess their relationship and looked at options.

"Between New Year and February 14 is a time when many evaluate whether their relationships are right for them," the Daily Telegraph quoted Foster as saying.

"Almost half of young people will actually break up with their partner around Valentine's Day - it's almost what you could consider ''break-up season''," she said.

The survey found that as many as one-in-three unmarried couples used February 14 to consider their relationship while one-in-four, 25 percent, admitted to staying in a relationship over Valentine's Day even though the relationship had lost its spark.

"Trust, respect and honesty are all of incredible importance," Foster said.
"So, if your partner has cheated, or you''re feeling it's run its course, or you just don't bring out the best in each other, perhaps it's time to move on," she added.

Article Source:http://www.mid-day.com/relationships/2011/feb/150211-couples-break-up-on-valentines-day.htm




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Poem Of The Week: My Pullback

My Pullback
-Amberlee Spurling

When I love
I love hard
I will always love and get hurt
But that is my weakness
That is my pullback

When I love
I love hard
I believe in true love
I believe it's too good to be true
But that is my weakness
That is my pullback

When I love
I love hard
I endure most of your hurt
I take it and i consume it
So you won't have too
But that is my weakness
That is my pullback

When I love
I love hard
I would wait
But I would die a bit each day
So you won't have too
But that is my weakness
That is my pullback

My pullback is you




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Popular Online Dating Activities For Men

Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.

Looks Count
Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.

Kindness Counts
Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news latterly, etc. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. And “do unto others….”

So add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!
hopefully useful!

Article Source:http://readnewsandarticles.blogspot.com/2011/02/popular-online-dating-activities-for.html




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Lyrics Of The Week

GETTIN' IN THE WAY
-Jill Scott


You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'

Sister girl, I know you don't understand
But you're goin' have to understand, he's my man now
What you had is gone, I think it's sweet
I think it's stronger than any lie you can tell on me

He knows my heart and that's the part
Your roots are dug up so you might as well give up
I see your intentions, you can't handle the truth
He let you go a long time ago now it's time to turn him loose

You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'

Suga honey girl, fly, fly away
I been a lady up to now don't know how much more I can take
Queens shouldn't swing if you know what I mean
But I'm 'bout to take my earrings off get me some vasaline

You betta go on get out my face girl, you betta chill
You betta back down before you get smacked down, you betta chill
You betta go on get out my face girl, you betta chill
You betta back down before you get smacked down, you betta chill

You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'

Everything was beautiful between me and him
And here come you with your big mouth, talkin' about me
Tellin' him that you seen me up 24th street
With them other cats but you know that's a lie

You keep lying to my man, girlfriend
I'm go take you out in the middle of the street and whoop yo tail
All this worth 599 or something like that

You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
(You betta back down before you get smacked down, you betta chill)
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
(You betta back down before you get smacked down, you betta chill)

You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
(You betta back down before you get smacked down, you betta chill)
You're gettin' in the way of what I'm feelin'
(You betta back down before you get smacked down, you betta chill)



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