Break up…. to make up...that's all we do... then you love me, now you hate me it's a game for fools. *Ahem* I am sorry just going along with the words of this song since it covers the awfully great deal of a on again off again relationships. For the ones in the most stabilized partnerships will often wondered, how can anyone sees themselves on the emotional roller-coaster ride with the object of their affection? For those that don't know it is hard to figure out. For the ones that went through the constant love me then leave me type knows what I am talking about.
You met the person you thought you can enjoy your life with forever. It has been several months since your first date and the two of you had been enjoying all the things couples will normally do. Most importantly in your eyes the person is funny, smart, and actually cute. Everything seem so perfect! Then out of the blue, mentions he or she is leaving you. Now your world crumbles into pieces, wondering how one can live on day by day without that wonderful person in your life.But...wait a second… after gloomy days, love songs that reminded you of your love and all those Kleenex all over your floor-surprisingly they call you and tell you how sorry they are.Thoughts of you heavily on their mind and regretting ever to break up with someone as lovely as yourself are tearing them apart. You consider for a minute to give them a another chance at love , remembering all the good times you two had together, not looking at the whole picture of whether or not he will be taking you on a ride again and risking a chance of getting hurt.
But of course you opt to forgive him, his flowers and his apology card that he perfectly handwritten just for you. You tell yourself no it won't happen again. Everything is going to be all right this time. And it sure is. Now continuing once again being happy together, saying the I-love-yous, calling or emailing each other every night before bedtime. Now you are saying to yourself, I just about knew he would've missed me!
Suddenly there goes heartbreaking news! No longer can he see you -insert reason here-. Now you're heartbroken again. You'd think does the old saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me applies to you and your situation.
Unfortunately it does. Getting involved with men (or women) that seem to love playing fun games with your heart one should evaluate carefully, especially giving them a second chance. Is it worth another go to get rejected not once but twice by the same person?
Some may think so. For the forgiving types like in the example above who believe in second chances, here are a couple things that should be worked out before making a final decision to open your heart again to your old love.
Saying "I'm sorry"- Sorry to say this but his (or her) apology is not enough. There should be a clear and honest reason for the relationship to be on again. What needs to be addressed is why he (or she) broke up with you in the first place so the two of you can sort out any problems surrounding the first break up.
Communication- One of the most important aspects in any relationships. Be direct. Tell the person upfront that you have no time for those that enjoy playing up one's feelings. For any reason they can't comprehend that, tell them where he or she can go.
For those weary of giving it another go, here are the downfalls. Same old song yet different tune- So many people wound up going right back to the reason they broke up in the first place. Lack of communication, dishonesty on one's part, whatever associated with the breakup. My advice here: If it's broke, don't bother to fix it.
Playing up one own ego- There are plenty people out there can just tune in who will take all their crap and who will not. The obvious are the rejected ones that goes right back constantly to their former love arms
again, believing every time is "different". Be honest with yourself. The reality is that the person knows they can run right to you when they are "lonely" or even worse; someone else broke off the romance with them now they are crawling back to you. They know you are their crutch whenever they fall. They also knows that somehow you will probably be right there waiting for them so you can buttered them up in many ways and make them feel irresistible. When their ego is all swelled up, they can now say thank you and leave right out the door.
The two reasons above are why I rule out on and off again relationships. They are most of the time unsuccessful. Besides, why would anyone want their heart steamrolled over and over again?
A person's self-worth should be valued. Especially in a relationship. Both parties should genuinely love one another and one should not be played for a fool. When circumstances like on-off again relationship that occurs, that type of relationship is not healthy and should never ever be redeemed, no matter how you might have strong feelings for the confused and emotionally immature. Be strong and firm about what you will and will not take and that include unstable relationships and the person that fits this type of relationship. If you will do that, you will attract the right person one day that will love you back and vice versa. And above all else, stay off again permanently with the confused person so they will seek a playmate that would play along with their game of fickle love.
~lOVE 2 B lOVED
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