Loving Yourself FIRST!!

-Heavenly


Relationships fail for many reasons. Since we are just starting out I feel it is appropriate to cover how not loving yourself and not knowing what you want can destroy a relationship. Before you can love ANYONE, you have to FIRST love yourself. People easily play off that they love themselves by being selfish or just by saying it; etc. The truth is, when you love yourself, and you are in a relationship, it will show through the love that you give your partner. This is because loving yourself involves caring, understanding, and forgiveness.


Caring, because you have to care about your life, well-being, your feelings, and opinions; allowing you to then know what caring really is so that you genuinely care about your partner. If you don't really know what it is to care for yourself; there is no way you can care for anyone else.


Understanding, because it is important to realize and know that you are not a perfect person, nor have you had a perfect life. Sometimes you probably found yourself in situations that would cause some people to judge you or form their own opinions about you/your situation without even knowing or caring to know how you ended up in the situation. Your partner deserves that same understanding and you can't give that understanding if you don't have it for yourself.


Forgiveness, because again, you are not perfect and have not lived a perfect life. A lot of people have done things in their life that they feel guilty about; keeping them from self-forgiveness. You must forgive yourself for mistakes you have made in the past...even if it is recent past. Being able to forgive yourself makes it easier to forgive your partner for things that happened in their past, and not hold it against them in any way. Whether it is you or your partner, as long as you both know you have TRULY made a change for the better, you have NO reason to feel guilty nor to feel like you owe ANYBODY, ANYTHING. You will never be able to forgive others if you don't know how to forgive yourself.


***If you are in a relationship and you can realize that there are things within yourself that you need to work on in order to be right for the person you love...communicate this information with them; so that they are not left in the dark thinking they are doing something wrong when they are not. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is to throw blame where there isn't really blame to throw but on yourself. Of course if your partner is doing something you feel is not right then you should be sure to communicate exactly what it is.

^^^Sometimes you can work things out while still staying in your relationship...but sometimes it is necessary to separate for the sake of one (or both) of you making yourself better for the other person***


~lOVE 2 B lOVED