Walking On A Dream -Empire Of The Sun (Lyrics)

Walking On A Dream
-Empire Of The Sun


Walking on a dream
How can I explain
Talking to myself
Will I see again
We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it
Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it
On and on and on we are calling out and out again
Never looking down, I'm just in awe of what's in front of me
Is it real now
Two people become one
I can feel it
Two people become one
Thought I'd never see
The love you found in me
Now it's changing all the time
Living in a rhythm where the minutes working overtime
We are always running for the thrill of it, thrill of it
Always pushing up the hill searching for the thrill of it
On and on and on we are calling out and out again
Never looking down, I'm just in awe of what's in front of me
Is it real now
Two people become one
I can feel it
Two people become one
Is it real now
Two people become one
I can feel it
Two people become one
Catch me I'm falling down
Catch me I'm falling down
Don't stop, just keep going on
I'm your shoulder lean upon
So come on, deliver from inside
All we got is tonight that is right till first light
Is it real now
Two people become one
I can feel it
Two people become one


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Couples Living Together Need A Plan For Finances

BOSTON (CBS) – The PC term is cohabitation. Many more couples are trying this approach before marriage and in some instances instead of marriage. Over 8 million couples live together. That number may be low due to the fact people often lie to the census taker.

So how does what’s yours, mine and ours work here? This is not going to be a romantic segment! Grab a pad, pencil and your calculator to help.

You need to treat the finances just as if you were two strangers about to become roommates. Talk about the expenses upfront before your friends start carrying the boxes in and if you are willing take it one step further; put everything in writing. Create a cohabitation agreement. You’re dealing with a roommate, one you’re romantically involved with, but they’re still a roommate.

1. Keep your finances separate. Do not open a joint checking account and do not put each other’s names on your credit cards as a user. And think twice about co-signing loans for each other. Share the basic household expenses like the rent, mortgage and utilities.
2. You need to have a clear understanding about what’s expected of each of you. Make a list of the joint expenses and who will be responsible for them. Whose name will be on the electric bill? The water bill? When you sign a lease you may have to do that jointly unless one of you moves into an established situation. Who is going to be responsible for paying the bills?
3. Credit Cards:  Don’t mess with each other’s credit. It could come back to bite you in the butt. Each of you is responsible for your own credit card bills. You want to keep your credit histories separate.
4. Insurance:  If you are renting you both should have renter’s insurance to cover your belongings.
5. Discretionary Expenses:  Food and alcohol. Gets sticky here and again communication is key. Is one of you a gourmet cook and the other content with a can of tomato soup and a grilled cheese? If he likes beer while he watches the game on the weekend then that falls under his expenses. If you drink beer with him or your friends do then that is a joint expense. If his friends come over for a party and you are away it’s his expense.
6. If you buy any large pieces of furniture together who gets them if you split up? Does one of you buy the washer and the other the dryer? Discuss ownership issues before you need to.

One more thing:  According to a recent study when unmarried couples who have been living together part company, women are substantially worse off economically than the men. A man’s household income drops by 10%, a woman’s by 33%. Sounds a lot like the statistics of a divorce. According to the Census Bureau, more than 40% of American women under the age of 45 have lived unmarried with a male partner at some point in their lives..….
 

You can hear Dee Lee’s expert financial advice on WBZ News Radio 1030 each weekday at 1:55 p.m., 3:55 p.m., and 7:55 p.m.

Subscribe to Dee’s Money Matters newsletter here.

Article Source: http://boston.cbslocal.com/2012/06/07/couples-living-together-need-a-plan-for-finances/


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Love In The Air

Why not go cloud gazing with your lover?

Top 5 Bad Relationship Habits To Cut Out In 2012

 It’s a New Year beauties and if you are reading this, you are blessed to have made it to 2012. Some of us welcomed in the New Year with a kiss from our beloved, some of us with champagne toasts and glittery accessories but a handful of us beauties brought in the New Year miserable. We do it every year, we manage to cut off or be cut off by that someone who we were kickin’ it with and end up in the same emotional state we were in prior to this person entering our lives. I always compare this to the feeling you get when a dress you buy at final sale is seen somewhere else at a cheaper price- defeat!

I can’t pull Idris Elba out of my pocket and give him to you nor can I pull a huge engagement ring out the sky and place it on your finger. What I can give you are a few pointers that will help you ease into your next romantic encounter with a little more emotionally-sound ammo, the rest of the story is written by you.

Here are 5 bad relationship habits to cut out in 2012:

 

Making Assumptions: Admittedly I’m an over thinker. I will spin a story so real in my head that I have to question my sanity at times. For the sake of your romantic future, ask questions, and leave estimations up to scientists.

 

Believing You Are Not Worthy of Love: I’m amazed at how many women are still “ok” with settling for half-assed relationships. Know your worth, and save yourself the heartache by knowing when to exit an experience that is not bringing out the best in you.

 

Comparing Your Experience to Your Friends’ Relationships: So you’re the last in the crew to get chose. Girl please,  allow your friend’s big news to enhance your outlook on love and not be step by step instructions or a threat to your individual love experience.

 

Sabotaging Your Potential for Love: I am the pickiest mofo on earth but I can tell you that every one of my shallow “must-haves” have gone out the window with my current beau. Focus on shared values being the deciding factor as opposed to the “Disney Land” idea of the “perfect mate”. 

 

Lying To Yourself: Just like we set goals for our careers I always encourage my people to set goals for love. Many relationships fail to move past a certain stage because both parties have no idea what they really want or they do but have conflicting views of what the relationship should be. Are you looking for a commitment? Is light and casual working for you? Are you interested in serial dating? State your intentions and be about it, avoid getting caught up with partners who have snake charmed their way into your heart but have no desire for a commitment- That’s some 2011 bull!

I’m excited for this year and all of you. I know for a fact that whether or not you have found love, you want to enhance your experience as well as become stronger in your ability to give and receive it. We here!

 Article Source: http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/lipstick-wisdom/telishang/top-5-bad-relationship-habits-to-cut-out-in-2012/


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

4 Things Never To Say To Your Partner

 

 We say a lot of regrettable things in the heat of an argument or when we’re feeling frustrated, but certain things are much more hurtful than others -- and cause more trouble than they’re worth. Here are four things you should avoid saying in your relationship, even if you’re really angry.

We never do anything fun anymore.

This statement implies that your unhappiness and boredom is his fault, which really isn't fair. If you want to go out or plan a trip, you're more than capable of taking action. A relationship rut is rarely one person's fault; it takes two to let the excitement slip away. Rather than making him feel like he's failed in some way, discuss the fact that you think it's time the two of you did something fun together. Go out to dinner and talk about some things you can do to spice up the relationship. Plan a vacation, take a road trip or incorporate some new activities into your weekend plans.

If you loved me, you would.

This is a manipulative move that puts your partner on the spot. Chances are there's a lot more to the situation than whether he loves you, but giving him an ultimatum leaves very little room for discussion. No one in a relationship should feel pressured to make split decisions or do uncomfortable things. Don't do this to your man just to get your way.

Your mom/sister/aunt is crazy.

Even if his mom drives you nuts or his aunt's nagging makes you want to throw yourself off a bridge, keep your feelings about his family to yourself. He may think the same thing, but only he is allowed to comment. Think about how you would feel if he insulted your mother: You probably wouldn't be impressed. Rather than start a fight about the woman who brought him into this world, just stay quiet. It's better than saying something you can't take back.

Your friends are idiots.

His friends might indeed be idiots, but they're his friends, and he loves them. Some playful teasing is fine, but offending people he holds in high regard could make him justifiably upset. You don't have to hang out with all of the people he does, so just don't spend time with the people who bother you.

Article Source: http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/826547/4-things-never-to-say-to-your-partner


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Top 10 Ways to Show Your Love

There are many ways to show your love, some of which aren’t material. Although, material objects of affection are wonderful and always welcome.

Everyone loves to receive gifts, but you can show your love and devotion in ways that don’t cost money but require your time and effort.

The top ten ways to show your love include:

10. Offer muscle therapy

A back rub and a foot rub is a winning way to show someone that you love hem. You do not have to be a professional masseuse to be effective at this. Get out some lotion and oil and go to work. If your loved one is tired and achy he or she is going to love this.
9. Give sparkly things

Love can’t be bought, but jewelry is always good. Jewelry can become a symbol of your love. Think about getting your wife or loved one a charm bracelet that features charms that are a direct reflection of her life and her interests. Your gift of jewelry doesn’t have to cost a king’s ransom, although hardly any woman is going to say no to a diamond band; it is the thought that counts. Buy her something that you know she’ll love. If she likes Native American turquoise jewelry or Art Deco opt for that. Earrings, necklaces, pendants, broaches, wristwatches and bracelets are lovely gifts to give to someone you adore.
8. Make it extra thoughtful

If your loved one really loves going to the theatre, for example, buy tickets and surprise her. If she is stressed out and overwrought get her a gift certificate to a spa. Pampering someone and surprising them with something they thoroughly enjoy is a great way to show someone how much you love and care about them.
7. Offer your services

Mow someone’s lawn who can’t mow it themselves. Offer to perform minor maintenance of appliances: replace a vacuum cleaner belt or find what you need in a garden supply store and get the riding mower running in top condition. Go to the grocery store for someone who is housebound. Fix a meal and deliver it. Babysit so that mom and dad can have some time alone and away from their charges. It’s the little things that you do that mean the most to people and that show them how much you care.
6. Say it

Take the time to make that phone call or send that email or snail mail to someone whom you love but haven’t connected with in a while. It doesn’t have to be much. A few words can be magic to someone who needs to know they are still thought of and loved.
5. Don’t suffocate

Don’t suffocate your loved ones. Give them some space. They will return to you – and not because they have to, but because they want to.
4. Make loyalty a priority

Support your loved ones through thick and thin and let them know you have their back. Life gets messy and it’s not always smooth sailing out there. There are going to be times when someone you love does something so incredibly stupid and embarrassing and maybe even scandalous that it would be easy to walk away and cut all ties. Don’t. Let them know you love them no matter what. This doesn’t mean that you have to fix it for them.
3. Practice active listening

Set aside time exclusively reserved and uninterrupted for your loved one, whether it’s your spouse, your child, grandchild, neighbor or your favorite postman that you adore and know is going through a hard time. Giving your undivided attention and listening can mean more to someone than anything else that you have to offer. This doesn’t cost you a thing.

2. Model loving behavior

Take care of your elderly loved ones. Yes, your parents and grandparents can be a handful in their twilight years, but you were a handful once, too. Spend as much time as possible with the seniors in your life. Their time is limited as is your time with them. You may find that you are finally able to establish an actual friendly and reciprocal adult relationship with your parents, which is the kind of relationship that has eluded you throughout your lifetime. Yes, it’s hard and time-consuming and inconvenient to be a caretaker, even a part time one, but the love that you are showing by being there for your parents will be eternally remembered by them. P.S. You are setting a good example for your own children. When your time comes hopefully they will remember how you treated your parents in their time of need.

1. Say it

Telling someone you love them is the # 1 way to show them how much you care. It’s simple. Say it: I LOVE YOU. More importantly, you have to mean it. Not only talk the talk but walk the walk. You can’t truly love someone and then treat them abominably or neglectfully. There is no better gift than sincere love and the genuine actions that occur as a result.


 Article Source: http://www.catalogs.com/info/bestof/top-10-ways-to-show-your-love


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Relationship Rehab: 12 Steps To Becoming A Happier Couple In 2012

By Natalie Gontcharova

Your 12-step program to a better, healthier relationship.

What's your New Year's resolution for 2012? To exercise more? To be more productive? We bet "a more honest and open relationship" isn't on many of your lists. That's because tons of people put their relationships on autopilot, hoping the kinks will just work themselves out — and then they argue each and every day, and end up resenting each other. The best way to have a happy relationship is to keep working on it, so even if you're not currently in a relationship rut, follow these 12 tips from our staff and you'll keep being happy.

1. Say "please" and "thank you." This shows your partner you appreciate them and keeps you from taking each other for granted. 

2. Grab your partner's butt every day (or at least every other day).

3. Kiss every morning!

4. Say "good morning" every morning.

5. Cuddle.

6. Spend at least one night a week with your significant other and family/friends, i.e. don't hole up all by yourselves.

7. Use baby talk/pet names very sparingly. If you overuse these, you could damage your relationship since you won't be able to relate to each other seriously.

8. DO THE DISHES. Set up some type of system for who does them when.

9. Practice listening.

10. Practice honesty, even when it's uncomfortable.

11. If you and your partner are indecisive about where to eat or what movie to watch, play the "5-3-1" game. One person names five choices, the other vetoes two of them, and then the first person eliminates the remaining two. Ta-da, no more "Where you do want to eat?" "I don't care, what do you want to do?" (From 8 Relationship Tricks Happy Couples Use)

12. If you live together, make sure you each still have your own private space where you can retreat to work, think, or partake in bizarre grooming rituals that the other person wouldn't want to see.

Article Source:http://www.yourtango.com/2012130043/10-steps-happier-relationship-2012


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3 Cheap, Last-Minute Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day

 By ModernMom Staff

If money is tight this year, spending a fortune on V-day gifts is totally unrealistic. You shouldn't have to break the bank when choosing a gift for your man, and likewise, he doesn't need to empty out his wallet to get you roses, diamonds or an expensive dinner. Here are a few creative ways to spend Valentine's Day that won't make you cringe as you fork over that hard-earned cash.

1. Pamper Your Partner

So what if you can't afford that spa day? Try creating a spa at home! Grab some sensual oils and start massaging your man. Then, light some scented candles, open up a bottle of red wine and slip into a bubble bath together. Relax and enjoy each other.

2. Picnic at Home

If set-priced restaurants on Valentine's Day turn you off, then try a romantic dinner at home. We all know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so try to cook his favorite meal. Even if you've never made it before and it doesn't come out perfect, he will appreciate the effort! Instead of eating at the dinner table, throw down a comfy blanket and dine on the floor for a romantic change -- maybe even near a roaring fire. Use elegant dinner plates so it doesn't feel cheesy. Chill some champagne, serve strawberries to bring out the champagne's flavor and you're in for a memorable night.

3. Surprise Him with Sexy Lingerie

Another way to a man's heart (well, maybe not his heart per say) is with S-E-X. Yes, he's probably expecting it on V-Day, but what he won't be expecting is a new piece of lingerie that makes you look and feel sexier than ever. That will definitely get the motor running. Also, try to make the night about him for a change. Spend more time on his needs and yes, that might mean doing that thing he loves. He'll feel like the luckiest man alive, believe me.

 Article Source:http://www.modernmom.com/article/3-cheap-last-minute-ways-to-celebrate-valentine-s-day



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Will Smith Gives Good Relationship Advice

 After being married for 13 years to wife Jada Pinkett-Smith, actor Will Smith seems like he would be a good person to sit down and talk with about how to make a healthy marriage work. He recently spoke with Essence about relationships, schooling us on not only love and marriage, but what men need to be happy. He says that every man wants to marry their “homie,” avoid nagging by direct affection, give your man a little space, and keep things mysterious:

If You Marry Your Best Friend, You’re Good 

Every man wants to marry his homie, Will explained. A lot of women will impress them, but it’s the one they can always laugh with and be themselves with that will ultimately impress them the most. If you can be yourselves around each other, 100 percent of the time, and they can make you life like no one else can, you’ll never have a dull moment together.  

Remind Him of What He Has 

When you start to feel that you’re nagging your husband to the point of no return and nothing you’re saying is getting through, Will suggests you try a new approach. Hold him close, look him right in the eyes, and tell him that you love him, you’re right there, and you always will be, BUT you need him to pick his socks up – right now.  As Will puts it, it’s important to remind him that your request is coming from a good place, and what you want is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Um, genius!  

All Men Need A Little Space 

“If you don’t give your husband thirty minutes to himself when he first gets home he’ll stop coming home,” Will told me, straight up. (You’re thinking, no way, right? I did too!) When I asked Will when a wife was supposed to say her piece, he responded, “anytime after that.” Will reminded me that everyone’s home needs to feel like a happy place, and it won’t if you’re “greeted with negativity” every time you enter the door. Touché Will. Talk about a pause for the cause.  

Focus on Balance and Excitement Always According to Will and Jada’s way of thinking about marriage, maintaining a happy union isn’t just about making time for one another, it’s about making the time count too. Excitement and mystery are everything, he said. Surprise them, let them know you love them, laugh together – whatever it takes to put a smile on their face.

Article Source: http://necolebitchie.com/2011/06/21/will-smith-offers-relationship-advice-marry-your-best-friend/

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

31 Date Ideas That Are Perfect for Fall!

by Kim Fusaro

Whether you need first date ideas for a rendezvous with your crush or just want to do ANYTHING but dinner and a movie with your steady guy, I think you'll find this list of 31 fall-friendly dates inspiring!

Host an outdoor dinner party for two!

Get lost in a corn maze! (It's scarier than you think!)

Build a fort and snack on indoor S'mores!

Play two-man video games at the arcade! (The more old-school, the better!)

Jump in piles of fallen leaves!

Take a brewery tour and sample yummy beers!

Choose three cheeses you've both never tried and make a yummy cheese plate. (Don't forget the wine!)

Pick out a fun kit from a hobby shop (model race car! mini air plane!) and build it together.

Take a ride on a rented bicycle built for two!

Play an old-school board game!

Carve pumpkins!

Take a sight-seeing tour—on public transportation!

Play laser tag!

Ask a psychic what your futures hold!

Instead of a fancy-pants high-pressure dinner, meet for breakfast instead. (Mmm ... syrup!)

Visit the aquarium!

Whip up some (spiked!) milk and cookies.

Break out the sidewalk chalk and try your hand (er, feet) at hopscotch. Once you're done with hopping, move on to tic-tac-toe!

Find a cookbook at the library and pick something yummy to cook together! (Bring quarters for so you can photocopy the recipe!)

Bring a handful of pennies to a local fountain and make some wishe

Paint pottery together. (If your instincts tell you it's childish, ignore 'em!)

See if he's man enough to go for a pedicure with you! (I begged my husband before our wedding—and he wound up loving it!)

Take a walk on a deserted beach!

Challenge your crush to a push-up contest. Or ask him to join you for a Pilates class!

Rather than meet up for drinks, meet up for a cupcake! (Or two!)

Go to Target and pick out silly, inexpensive surprise gifts for each other! (Max price tag: $10!)

Spend an afternoon at a fall harvest festival!

Pay a visit to your local bingo hall and join the grandmas for a few rounds!

Take a long walk and hold hands the entire time!

Attend trivia night at a bar!

Visit a haunted house!

Article Source:http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2011/09/31-date-ideas-that-are-perfect.html

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Joyful Solutions to Relationship Difficulties

By Laurie Moore, LMFT, CHT, PhD


Note: This article is for couples who have experienced love and compatibility but are having current challenges. This article is not for people who are in a relationship with someone who is abusive or unable to be present due to addiction. Abuse and addiction situations require other kinds of counseling.

Couples with the compatibility and love needed for longevity will find themselves in uncomfortable quagmires at different times. This is due to the complexity of being human. When you look at the combination of factors included in a human (background, emotional temperament, unique characteristics, drives and yearnings, goals, genetic factors, view point, soul calling, karmic lessons) there is a lot going on. Put two people together and you have a rich design that is sometimes a puzzle. For this reason, couples may feel challenged within a very good relationship at times. No relationship is a custom-made combination of 100% fitting characteristics. The beauty of a relationship is that our harmonious sharings give us great warmth while our areas of difference can give rise to deeper compassion and love. A relationship that is challenged is an opportunity for clarifying intentions, learning new ways of harmonizing, and growing in compassion.

In today’s world, people are apt to give up on a good relationship because narcissism is at play. Opportunities for deeper growth, bonding and love can be missed when someone can only see the value of his or her own needs.

Therapy is a good way to find deeper union in the face of challenge. Therapy can teach you to listen more deeply to the expressions and yearnings of self and other. In this openness, emerging solutions to chronic problems may come about in surprising ways. Where once two people felt unsupported, depth of care may be found.

Relationship is a path of learning, compromise and gratitude. Couples who make gratitude more important than dissatisfaction are better at sustaining love and care when differences cause temporary disturbance. Couples who share a clear, positive intention for their relationship’s evolution are likely to return to happiness and harmony. Those who invest in making one another the “sick, bad, or wrong” one may not be any happier in the next relationship.

Gratitude and intention can be hard to remember when our equilibrium is being threatened. Good counseling is a way to receive support from a non-judgmental party who can help both members of the couple to expand into new viewpoints.

When one sees differently, it becomes easier to support the health of both involved.

Remember there are always two sides to each situation. When we step outside of an attachment to making one view point better than another, we see that both our partner and ourself carry valid needs and experiences. From this deeper listening we can find the way back to peace.

Often our lack of peace is the result of old hurts (our own, our collective society’s, or our ancestors’ which we may inherit genetically). When a skilled therapist assists us with transforming these hurts over time, we approach our relationship differently. Where once we felt trapped and stuck, now we might flow creatively.

To begin healing immediately take some time to reflect upon what you are thankful to your partner about. Let him or her know. Clarify to yourself, what you are seeking with your partner in most simple terms. For example, I desire and intend to return to a state of ease and mutual acceptance with my partner.

Look honestly to see if you might be carrying old hurts around with you. Might these hurts be affecting your ability to respond to a current situation with workability? Are you able to practice what you are looking for in the relationship yourself, or is undigested pain in the way? If yes, are you willing to get help for your side of the problem? Couples who each attend individual counseling as well as couples’ counseling tend to do better with altering conflict.

Ask yourself if you would be willing to release a view point or habitual emotional habit that is impeding your own goal for the relationship. Share all of the suggestions listed with your partner after you try them out yourself. Share the affects you experience from trying out these methods also. Invite your partner along for the rewarding journey. Find out if she or he is also ready and willing to do his or her work so that both of you may benefit.

While it is true that some people simply are not compatible, many give up before their greatest potential is reached. I invite you to look deeply into yourself with the help of an experienced counselor before leaving a relationship. Whether you stay or go, you are being given an opportunity to learn something precious which can stay with you forever. Once you find what you are looking for, you may also find that your mate is ideal for you after all! I have seen this happen many times, both while sitting in the counselor’s chair, and in the opportunities of my own life.


Article Source:http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/joyful-solutions-to-relationship-difficulties/



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

How Love Keeps Us Healthy

By Sarah Mahoney

Who doesn't love being in love? A true Valentine listens to you vent about work, lets you have that last slice of pizza, and (usually) remembers to take out the trash. He doesn't expect you to watch the Super Bowl. And he always thinks you're sexy, even in thermal underwear and bunny slippers.

Scientists have long been keen to prove that love gives us health benefits, too—beyond the obvious advantage of always having a date for New Year's Eve. Researchers can't say for sure that romance trumps an affectionate family or warm friendships when it comes to wellness. But they are homing in on how sex, kinship and caring all seem to make us stronger, with health gains that range from faster healing and better control over chronic illnesses to living longer.

The benefits of love are explicit and measurable:

A study last year from the University of Pittsburgh found that women in good marriages have a much lower risk of cardiovascular disease than those in high-stress relationships.The National Longitudinal Mortality Study, which has been tracking more than a million subjects since 1979, shows that married people live longer, have fewer heart attacks and lower cancer rates, and even get pneumonia less frequently than singles.And a new study from the University of Iowa found that ovarian cancer patients with a strong sense of connection to others and satisfying relationships had more vigorous "natural killer" cell activity at the site of the tumor than those who didn't have those social ties. (These desirable white blood cells kill cancerous cells as part of the body's immune system.)

Some experts think it won't be long before doctors prescribe steamy sex, romantic getaways and caring communication in addition to low-cholesterol diets and plenty of rest. If that sounds like a happy Rx, here are ways to make the emerging evidence translate into real-life advice.

The benefits of bear hugs

Doctors at the University of North Carolina have found that hugging may dramatically lower blood pressure and boost blood levels of oxytocin, a relaxing hormone that plays a key role in labor, breastfeeding and orgasms.

Researchers asked couples to sit close to one another and talk for 10 minutes, then share a long hug; afterward they found positive, albeit small, changes in both blood pressure and oxytocin.

But the power of frequent daily hugging was intense: The women with the highest oxytocin levels had systolic blood pressure that was 10 mm/Hg lower than women with low oxytocin levels—an improvement similar to the effect of many leading blood pressure medications, says Kathleen Light, Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry at UNC and one of the study's authors.

"Getting more daily hugs from their husbands was related to higher oxytocin, and so the hugs were indirectly related to lower blood pressure," she says. Men didn't get the blood pressure benefit from hugging. But don't feel bad for him: He probably gets the same health gains from steady sex that you do from daily snuggling.

A 2002 study from the University of Bristol in England found that men who had sex two or more times a week cut their risk of having a fatal heart attack in half. And a recent study from the National Cancer Institute found that men who ejaculate frequently may be protecting themselves against prostate cancer.

Article Source:http://health.msn.com/womens-health/articlepage.aspx?GT1=7756&cp-documentid=100123218



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Unhealthy Relationship Signs and How to Fix Them

An unhealthy relationship can break you down. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you have two choices. You can either fix it or end the relationship. When you’re not happy, every part of you suffers. An unhealthy relationship can make you a physical and emotional wreck.

So how do you turn your unhealthy relationship into a healthy relationship? There are strategies you can use to make your relationship work. You will need to work through any conflicting issues with your partner.





Money - The Root Of All Evil?
Money arguments can turn the healthiest relationship into a battlefield of arguments. Some of the main reasons why money causes frictions in relationships are because; one partner earns more than the other, bills, bills and more bills, lack of money and overspending. The one earning the most may feel resentment towards their partner because they take care of most of the expenditures. They may use that power to control the spending habits of the household. When there’s not enough money coming in to pay the bills, it causes tensions. Or if you have a spender living with a saver, the spender will be criticized for wasting money.

Instead of arguing, find a solution. Don’t throw blame around because it only adds to the problem. Sit down together, work out a budget and make a list of priorities. Part of the budget should include some money for the two of you to spend some regular quality time together. It could be a trip to the cinema, enjoying an affordable meal at a local resturant or just sharing a bottle of wine and watching a DVD at home. You should decide how often you can afford to treat yourselves.

Love Makes The World Go Round
The intense passion, excitement, can’t get enough of you, butterflies in the stomach feelings you get when you first fall in love don’t last. When that feeling fades, the rose tinted glasses comes off as well. You realise that you’re not intoxicated by love anymore. You’re just a normal everyday couple and love doesn’t feel like it used to. Routines may replace spontaneity. Passion has taken a back seat and you hardly talk to each other, your man hugs you like you’re his sister and the words ‘I love you’ are hardly mentioned. So how can you make your love candle burn again?

Compliment and praise each other often. Cook a lovely candlelit dinner once a week or month. Go away for romantic weekends. Watch comedy films that will make you both laugh. Mutual laughter keeps your relationship exciting. It triggers endorphines which makes you feel happy. Be like little kids again and do silly things like tickling each other. Get rid of stress and have playful pillow fights. Take long, leisurely walks in the park together. Hold hands when you walk down the road. Try to remember why you fell in love with each other and recapture some of those magical feelings.
Kiss and hug your man every day and tell him that you love him. A friend of mine told me that since she started doing that, her relationship has done a 90 degree turn around. It also boosted their sex life. Bring back some fun into your relationship.

You Argue About Anything and Everything
Arguing is not all bad. It’s normal to have different points of views. The only couples who don’t argue are the perfect couples. Unfortunately, they don’t exist. If you’re always arguing, have you both tried to find out what the problem is or do you just argue back? Ignoring the problem will not make it go away either. A male friend told me that every evening after work; he would go home to a messy house to find his girlfriend entertaining her friends. He told her for months that he wasn’t happy and tried to sort things out with her. But instead of listening or compromising, she carried on doing what she was doing. His resentment at her attitude turned into daily arguments. The relationship eventually ended.

Arguments can be solved. Never go to bed angry . It takes two to argue. Calm down! Go for a walk or leave the room for a while. Actively listen to each other’s explanation without interrupting. Tell him why you’re upset and how you feel. Don’t scream or shout. Talk about what you can both do to solve the problem that’s causing the arguments. Compromise if you have to. If the two of you can’t find a solution, you may need to see a relationship coach or get some professional counselling.

Help! Sex Life Needs a BoostWhen the relationship’s fresh you can’t get enough of each other. But after a while, things can get boring in the bedroom. You feel like it’s the same old, same old stuff. He doesn’t excite you anymore. Do you force yourself to be in the mood sometimes? Do you lie there wishing he would hurry up so that you can go to sleep? So, what are you going to do to revive your sex life?

Just because you’ve been together for a while doesn’t mean your sex life has to be boring. You are the woman. You have the power to ignite some new fire in the bedroom. Take him to La Senza and get him to buy you some sexy lingerie. Wear them for him. Why confine sex to the bedroom? Try different rooms in the house or better still, book into a hotel room for a night of passion. Pretend that you’re new lovers – Mr & Mrs Smith. Light some perfumed candles and put them around the bathroom. Take warm baths together. Put some romantic, smoochy music on, turn the lights down low and slow dance with your man. Spend time kissing and caressing each other before making love. These are just some of the things you can do to spice up your sex life and maintain a healthy relationship.


You Don’t Spend Quality Time Together
In the beginning people thought he was your Siamese twin. Wherever you went he would be there beside you. He couldn’t get enough of your company. He even ignored his best friend to be with you. Now you feel like you have to book an appointment to see him. Your man finishes work and instead of coming home he goes out with his friends. At weekends he always find excuses to meet up with them. You start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you. What happened to those wonderful quality times you used to share together?

Talk to him. Ask him why he doesn’t want to spend time with you. If he points out that there’s a problem in the relationship, work it out together. If you want to get close to him again, plan to spend good quality time together. Visit the theatre, go bowling, go away for weekends, or drive down to the coast together. Still allow him ‘his time‘ with his friends, but make sure you spend quality time together. Most importantly though, talk to each other.

Keeping a healthy relationship means you have to show love and support to your partner. Communicate with each other. Surprise your man sometimes. Put love notes in his lunch box, work briefcase, trousers or shirt pockets for him to find when he’s not at home. Keep the passion alive. It will strengthen your love for each other.


Article Source:http://www.miraculousladies.com/relationships/unhealthy-relationship-signs-and-how-to-fix-them/



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Why Couples Fight (CBS)

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Couples: From Fight or Flight to Partnership

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How To Beat The Odds: Tips From The Very Married

By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D.

The statistics can seem daunting. The U.S. divorce rate, although in some decline for the last few years, is still close to 50 percent. That brings Americans second only to Sweden for the highest divorce rate in the world! That’s certainly a dubious honor.
But there’s more to the statistics than meets the eye. In fact, 41 percent of first marriages (not half) don’t make it; 60 percent of second marriages and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. Apparently practice doesn’t make perfect. The divorces of the several times married skew the statistics and can make first-timers more pessimistic than they need to be.
If you want to be among the almost 60 percent of first marriages and among those in subsequent marriages who do make it work, long-married couples have some tips for you. Follow most of these guidelines most of the time and you’ll up your chances for joining the group of success stories.

A Baker’s Dozen Tips for Making Marriage Last

1. Commit to the commitment. The long-married are those who take their promise seriously. “‘Til death do us part” means exactly that. Divorce is neither an option nor a matter for discussion. Having made the decision to be in it forever (with no loopholes, escape routes, or qualifiers), these couples don’t head to the lawyer’s office or out the door when the inevitable tensions and problems come up. They work on them.
2. Give it all you’ve got. Partners in long-term marriages aren’t in it 50-50. They are in it 100 percent-100 percent. The partners don’t keep a tally on how the other person is doing. They work on making sure they are putting in 100 percent of themselves and they are trusting that the other person is doing the same.
3. Bring a whole person to the marriage. “You complete me” is romantic only in the movies. Long-married couples are made up of two whole people who each have a strong sense of self and an equally strong interest in each other. They each have their own friends, interests, hobbies, and intellectual pursuits. They don’t see themselves as halves of a whole but rather as two wholes who enrich each other. They are rarely bored because they are always learning interesting things from each other.
4. Make time for each other. Separate interests doesn’t mean separate lives. It means enjoying each other’s enjoyment of things that are a mystery to you, learning about each other’s passions, and finding some mutual friends and interests that make for mutual pastimes and shared memories.
5. Be a team. Long-married couples value each other’s contributions and feel that they each are contributing their fair share. Equality doesn’t have to mean sameness. It means that the couple has come to an agreement about what each needs to do to feel equally important and equally respected. Distribution of roles, responsibilities, and decision-making feels mutual and respectful of each partner’s needs.
6. Learn how to engage in friendly fighting. Every couple has disagreements. Committing to the commitment doesn’t protect us from misunderstandings and hurt feelings. But long-married couples see themselves as being on the same team, solving problems, not as being on different teams fighting against each other. When they disagree, the long-married have tools (and rules) for airing discontents and differences respectfully. Friendly fighting means that people stick to the issue and work hard to communicate their own position. They listen respectfully to the other and refrain from name-calling, blaming, and insisting on being right.
7. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Long-married couples let a lot of little stuff go. They know that it is unrealistic to expect perfection. Little habits and annoyances are seen as just that – little – or are thought of as endearing. They don’t make a project of changing little imperfections in the other person that the other person isn’t all that interested in changing.
8. Do sweat the small stuff. On the other hand, people who are in it for life know that little things can add up over time and become big problems. They work on their own bad habits and annoying flaws. They know they won’t ever be perfect but they are willing to put in the effort to improve on things their partner finds irritating.
9. Follow the “golden rule.” Treat each other as you would wish to be treated. If you’d like to be treated with courtesy and kindness, be courteous and kind. There isn’t room for double standards. If you want your partner to trust you, be absolutely trustworthy.
10. Be each other’s greatest fan. Everyone needs to know that the person they are closest to is their best cheerleader and advocate. The very married don’t criticize or correct each other in public. They emphasize the positive. In private, they take care that any complaints are presented respectfully and tactfully. Words of encouragement and positive affirmation are far more common than the negative. They encourage each other’s dreams and provide emotional and practical support to make them possible.
11. Make yourself appealing. It’s true that the fire of sexual attraction does fade with time. As the years go by, you may not be on fire but you can still stir up the coals. Dressing well for each other during the day shows respect for self and for one’s partner. Showering and putting on something a little sexy before bedtime sends the message to your partner that romance continues to be a priority.
12. Respect each other’s families. Every marriage is a cross-cultural experience. Your family of origin probably does things differently than your partner’s. There may be people in each other’s families that you (and maybe even your partner) can’t stand. But it isn’t a big deal to smile through an afternoon, an occasional supper, or a holiday visit. Agree on the boundaries you both want to put around your time with each other and help each other out when the going with family gets rough. You don’t have to love everyone in each other’s families but your partner will love you for not making him or her have to choose between you and the people they love (even if they don’t particularly like them).
13. Make special days special. It’s not about expense. It’s about caring. Partners who are long-married make a big deal out of these days, whether they personally see the point or not. Life hands out lots of reasons to feel sad, discouraged, bored, or blah. The antidote is finding times to let our partner know they are valued and appreciated. Every special day is an “excuse” to make life a little more joyful.

Article Source:http://psychcentral.com/lib/2010/how-to-beat-the-odds-tips-from-the-very-married/


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