Quote Of The Week: Dawn M. Williams

"Conflict is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. The way in which differences are resolved (or not) is a more accurate measure of stability. "

 -Dawn M. Williams



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Things To Try With Your Lover in 2011

Love is the most beautiful feeling and so is sex; every person on this earth wants to be loved and want to love…and that’s so very true, we can’t ignore this fact. Making out love brings couple more close to each other, that’s why we all want to try out different things to make our love life more exited, but the question is how? What one should do or try that his/her mate never forget in their life. Well answer is
Want to make your sex life exciting, than consider these hot and sizzling tips, which one should defiantly try on bed before dying.

1. Get involved with each other with lights on and stare each other from head to toe with all the emotions and love on. You will fell in love with this vibrant feeling.
2. Silent love is the hottest hot technique; enjoy the coaster ride by being silent, as love speaks for itself.
3. Express your love in words: Write love on his/ her back with your tongue, this will make him /her go mad in love.
4. Speak slow or breathe softly, close to his/her ear and just move with the rhythm of LOVE.
5. Be closer, speak slower and talk about the way you like to love her/him, and explore the new person in your beloved.
6. Give each other hot and loving massage, without this love is incomplete.
7. Just wrap yourself around him/her and fell the rhythm in between you.
8. Get wild get hot, show him/her the hidden love in your heart.
9. Touch him/her genital parts very smoothly and softly, but under the sheet.
10. Go for another honeymoon at your bed, place a black sheet and rose petals on it. Talk about the hottest day spent and cuddle each other the way, you are hugging her/him for the first time.
11. Get off your clothes and sit on his lap, making him wild for you.
12. Just give him a warm nibble on him/her ear, move will make you irresistible.
13. Try some yoga moves with clothes off and just feel the spirit of vibrations.
14. Shed your clothes in front of your partner will make him/her hot.
15. Get off with your clothes and don’t allow your partner to touch you, making him ecstatic and sizzled.
16. Give your partner a soft French kiss; make him fell the warmth of your love.
17. Red is the color of love, gift you partner the lingerie and ask him/her to change in front of you.

source: http://www.loverslovelife.com/things-one-should-try-on-bed-before-dying/



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10 Little-Known Facts About Martin Luther King, Jr

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Martin Luther King "I have a dream"

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Lyrics Of The Week

I Want You
-Marvin Gaye

I want you the right way
Iwant you
But I want you to want me too
Want you to want me,baby
Just like I want you

I give you all the love I want in return sweet darlin'
But half a love is all I feel
It's too bad,It's just too sad
You don't want me now
But I'm gonna change your mind
Someway,somehow,oh baby

Repeat

This one way loveis just a fantasy, oh sugar
To share is precious,pure and fair
Don't play with something you should cherish for life,oh baby
Don't you wanna care
Aint it lonely out there

Repeat

Repeat and fade



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Marvin Gaye "I Want You" (1976)

Really sit back and listen to, and enjoy this wonderful song.....


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Signs of a Bad Relationship

 

 

By: Alice Langholt
All relationships take work to make them successful. That fact has caused much confusion as people try to decide what exactly that work is, how much work is too much and how much work needs to be done to make the relationship worthwhile. However, there's a big difference between working on a relationship and wasting your time. If you note any of these signs of a bad relationship, then it's time to re-evaluate your situation.

The Warning Signs:
Lack of Trust.
Trust requires both partners to believe that the other will still love them, even when they make mistakes. They are able to be truthful about being at fault, and they can be vulnerable in front of each other. If you find yourself lying to cover when you make a mistake, or if you are afraid of your mate seeing you looking less than perfect, you are not being your true, honest self.
On a deeper level, lying, hiding the truth and withholding information are signs of a bad relationship. If you worry that your partner may be out with other women when he claims to be out with the guys, then you are lacking the trust a relationship requires. Likewise, your partner might interrogate you every time you go out. When you reach the point that you are accusing each other of hiding something, whether it be about love, money or who forgot to feed the dog, then you need to ask yourself why you really don't trust your partner.

Disrespect.
Respect means simply treating the other person like he or she is important. We all want to be treated that way. Good communication is an exchange of listening and sharing ideas. When you treat another person as if he is important, you would never hurt him, mistreat him, put him down in public or berate him. Sarcasm, disdain, taking the other person for granted or constantly putting the other person on the defensive all fall in the disrespect category. When your partner isn't supportive, he is revealing his own insecurities-and do you want to be with someone like that?

No Space.
In a good relationship, both people have time apart and time together. When you are together too much, you run the risk of feeling smothered. While you may enjoy being with your partner 24/7, time apart gives you something to discuss when you are together again. If you are apart, neither partner should resent the time apart or act jealous about it. Both partners trust that the other will be true, and both are worthy of the trust they have earned. In a bad relationship, one partner is resentful of the other or worries that the other partner will stray if left alone, which leads to that other hallmark of bad relationships, distrust.

Fear of Change.
Genuinely liking the other person for who she is means that you will still like her if she changes jobs, hobbies, friends or gets depressed. Genuine caring allows the other person the freedom to grow. It also means that you feel good with that person - you enjoy being with her. Bad relationships depend on the person to stay exactly one way, and change is met with resentment and suspicion, as if one partner changed just to hurt the other person. If your partner's affections depend on your looking the same or liking the same things, you may be in a bad relationship.

Physical or Emotional Abuse.
The clearest sign of all, abuse rears its ugly head when the previous four signs of a bad relationship are out of control. When there's no trust, no respect, no space and no room for growth, you are being smothered. Not only that, but you are also boxed in and fearful that, if you do anything that doesn't please your partner, you will be punished. Punishment has no place in a relationship. You must start looking for the exits if your partner hits you or makes you question your self-worth. Even if your partner is wonderful sometimes or apologizes afterwards, that isn't enough to justify the pain you are feeling. Seek outside help from family members, friends or law enforcement if you have any reason to fear for your safety.

What If You Don't See These Signs, but Still Feel Bad?
Even if a relationship isn't sour, you might think your relationship lacks spark. Relationships go through phases as people have different experiences in life. Sometimes couples who genuinely love each other aren't clicking for one reason or another. Often that reason is stress from outside factors, or difficulty communicating. If you feel that your relationship at its heart is a good one, consider trying relationship counseling. An outside perspective can help both of you decide if your efforts are for the good of the relationship, or if you are simply wasting your time.
You can't change an unhappy relationship into a good one, but you can help a good relationship that's struggling become better if both partners want that and want help getting it back on track.



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

New Zodiac Sign

The new Zodiac signs 2011 have many people upset that their horoscopes are changing. Many people take astrology very seriously, and the introduction of the Ophiuchus horoscope has the potential to upset believers of astrology.

The Ophiuchus sign now means that there are no longer 12 signs of the Zodiac…there are now 13. Will people with the fear of the number 13, also known as triskaidekaphobia freak out?

The new Zodiac sign dates are as follows:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18 – May 13

Taurus: May 13 – June 21

Gemini: June 21 – July 20

Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20

Most people assume that since Ophiuchus is new, that it is the 13th sign, but if you look at this list, people who fall under Sagittarius are actually in the 13th sign of the Zodiac now. Will there be certain Sagittarius horoscope people who won’t be able to sleep tonight?
(Source: http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2011/01/13/new-zodiac-signs-2011-new-zodiac-sign-dates-freak-out-people-with-fear-of-number-13)

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Domestic Violence: Men Being Abused by Women

National Institute of Justice estimates that 1.5 million women are victims of domestic violence each year. In that same year 835,000 men are abused by women. It is said that whereas every 21 seconds somewhere in America a woman is battered - but every 38 seconds somewhere in America a man is battered.

Men usually don't report the abuse. Men just don't tell, opting to keep it a secret from everyone around them. To them it's embarrassing that they are being physically or mentally abused by a woman. They feel that most people won't believe them. They will make excuses for their injuries. Some of the feelings that they have and why they don't report it to the police is from shame, they are worried that the female will turn the table on them and say that they were abusing her, and thinking that no one will believe him. Some men don't do anything about it because their self worth has been battered as well, and they feel that no one else would ever have them except the woman they are with and they would be alone for the rest of their lives. Some victims just don't want to make a change or they have small children that they want to stay and protect.

 The shame that the men feel when they try to get assistance, the ridicule, wondering what if the people at work find out that they are the one that is being abused. They wonder if they will become the joke of the locker rooms. It is harder for a man who is built like a football player to admit that his little petite wife abuses him. Who will ever believe him?

Many stories from men are that most the time the women were never charged even if the men displayed injuries. The "battered man" is hard to prove and to convince people that he is abused.

Most men will pretend that everything is fine at home when they are at work talking about family life keeping the abuse a secret. Maybe only telling one or two close friends if any at all. They will make excuses when asked to go out with the guys after work saying they had other plans when actually they're afraid that the female will go into a rage. So he sacrifices his happiness for hers. He has no life per say. Studies show that women who commit violence against the men in their lives have anger management issues, are likely to abuse their children, yet courts still favor giving the custody of the children to the female evenafter domestic abuse has been proven.

There are shelters out there for woman who are abused the court systems have help for children to get them out of the situation. But for men, they are left out in the cold. It's a hush-hush situation just like incest was at one time. It is now time to bring this epidemic in the public eye. There are many men who are abused daily by their wives, and the support that these men need is not there for them to heal and rebuild their lives.

The news lately has been showing more abuse on men, but its still only after the man had been killed by the woman. Then most of the time the women will claim abuse was committed against them, with the man deceased, it's impossible to question him about the events.

Physical abuse isn't the only abuse men have in relationships, there is verbal assaults that is the screaming, yelling which wears on the self confidence of the man.

The female know how to control the actions of the men, how to make them do only what the female wants them to do, they know how to make the man feel guilty. The female may keep you in such a state of confusion about twisting your words, making the man question his sanity. The stress will take a toll on his body, his emotional well being. The stress will make the man have blood pressure problems, which will lead to other problems.

Domestic abuse against men is occurring daily, just as it does against women. It's not just the females being abused. It's all unacceptable.

source:

http://www.batteredmen.com/

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Recognizing The Warning Signs Of Domestic Violence and Abuse

 

It's impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some telltale signs and symptoms of emotional abuse and domestic violence. If you witness any warning signs of abuse in a friend, family member, or co-worker, take them very seriously.

General warning signs of domestic abuse

People who are being abused may:

• Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner.
• Go along with everything their partner says and does.
• Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing.
• Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner.
• Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness.

Warning signs of physical violence

People who are being physically abused may:

• Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents.”
• Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation.
• Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (e.g. wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).

Warning signs of isolation

People who are being isolated by their abuser may:

• Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
• Rarely go out in public without their partner.
• Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car.

The psychological warning signs of abuse

People who are being abused may:

• Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
• Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
• Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or abuse

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.

DO's and DON'T'S:
Do:

• Ask if something is wrong.
• Express concern.
• Listen and validate.
• Offer help.
• Support his or her decisions.

Don’t:

• Wait for him or her to come to you.
• Judge or blame.
• Pressure him or her.
• Give advice.
• Place conditions on your support.

Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that you’re concerned. Point out the things you’ve noticed that make you worried. Tell the person that you’re there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk. Reassure the person that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her know that you’ll help in any way you can.

Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends. By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive situation and begin healing.
-Melinda Smith, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Song Of The Week

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How to Break a Toxic Love Pattern

-By Korin Miller


Even though you swear your exes are totally different, experts say most women have a relationship pattern they keep going back to. See how to break yours for a love that won't leave you hurting.

We were shocked when we heard that the first guy Rihanna seriously dated after Chris Brown had been accused of domestic abuse by an ex-girlfriend. After everything she went through, it would seem as if she'd be repulsed by men with that kind of reputation.
Turns out, the opposite is more likely to be true. "Most of us have a relationship pattern — that same type of guy we keep falling for — and it can work for or against us," says couples therapist Deborah Dunn, author of Stupid About Men. "It's not uncommon for women to keep going back to the type that wronged them in the past." How do you change whom you're drawn to dating? It's not easy, but it starts with figuring out where your attraction to these guys came from in the first place.

Family Ties
Experts say we develop our taste in men at a young age — anywhere from childhood to adolescence. "Whether it's positive or negative, everyone has a relationship pattern based on what they learned about love when they were growing up," says Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Love Could Think.

Repeatedly choosing the wrong guys signals that you may be driven to re-create the drama you had with your father or first boyfriend. Many women who had an absentee dad or let the arrogant JV football captain string them along for years will go for men who are unavailable or talk down to them because they're subconsciously trying to resolve things with the guy who let them down earlier in life, says Dunn — even though, clearly, that's not solving anything.

Women in these toxic patterns get hooked on the ups and downs of their relationships and can form what experts call betrayal bonds, which cause them to feel even more attached to men who show them these extreme — and sometimes ultimately dangerous — forms of attention. "You eventually feel like a guy doesn't love you unless he's either yelling in your face or trying to win you back," Dunn says.

Break the Cycle
All guys have less-than-admirable moments, but there are major tip-offs that your type is bad for you. Consistently feeling worse about yourself as you become more involved with a boyfriend is a giveaway that something isn't right, says Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Love in 90 Days. Other red flags: feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around a guy and dropping everything to spend time with him even though he's proven he wouldn't do the same for you. And while only you know what your relationships are really like, pay attention if your friends and family disapprove of every man you date, says Gratch.

To alter whom you're attracted to, you need to believe that what you've experienced isn't how love has to or should be, says Dunn. Ask friends who are happy in their relationships to describe how their guy behaves toward them so you can hear what you're missing out on. Or if you're coming off yet another bad breakup, consider seeing a therapist to make peace with the guy who originally wronged you, recommends Kirschner.

For extra motivation, picture what your life could be like in 10 years if you're still choosing men who treat you badly versus men who will care for you in a positive way. Which future do you want?




~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Online Dating Relationships

Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.

1. Take time and make time.
Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

2. Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you.
If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

3. Respect each others privacy.
Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.

4. Share special online and offline fun times.
Online, send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).

Tend your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.


~lOVE 2 B lOVED

The Power Of Relationships

Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building an effective and lasting relationships is a necessity for several reasons. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management.

An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities who depend on these groups or organization also suffer.

Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties' feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings an positions on all matters pertinent on the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us when we need it without asking for it is not a good practice.

Respect is the key to relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is quick forming of judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice.

Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties.

This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party's needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Effectively listening and no pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other.

Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings when they need to.

When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one. Some of these things found in a relationship also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to anyone, addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'.



~lOVE 2 B lOVED

10 signs of emotional abuse

NEVER stay in an abusive relationship....it does not have to be physical to be abuse!


~Love and be Loved

10 Signs of a Trouble Relationship

~Love and be Loved

Relationship Advice - 4 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship - Is This You?

These are a few great tips that I came across to help recognize whether or not you are in an unhealthy relationship. Our main goal at love LIFE/uncut is to maintain healthy relationships and recognize the unhealthy ones....and I noticed that, for the most part, I have been posting things to maintain healthy relationships and not so much how to recognize when you are in a toxic one. For the next few days at least, I will focus more on helping those in unhealthy relationships to recognize it and get out of it. I really feel that this is a good time to do this because it is the beginning of a new year and it is best to start it off on a positive note. No one should be in a relationship that is not making them happy and that is not helping them to be better all around.





~Love and be Loved

Couples' New Year's Resolutions About Money

Couples' New Year's Resolutions About Money: Resolve to Pay Down Credit Card Debt and Meet Long-Term Goals
Dec 27, 2009 Genna Cockerham

New Year’s Resolutions About Money

Money resolutions are among the more popular New Year’s resolutions that couples can make together. The start of a new year is a good time to create a plan to help achieve long-term goals together. These goals often include reducing credit card debt, becoming debt free, having larger savings or making a large purchase.

Pay Down Credit Card Debt

One positive step married couples can take in the new year is to total their existing credit card debt and make reasonable goals toward paying down their debt. It can be easy in January, when faced with credit card statements from December’s holiday purchases and travel, to resolve to get rid of credit card debt but it is a long-term goal that works best when both spouses are on board. Couples who make money resolutions may want to try credit counseling together or enroll in a program like Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University to learn how to pay down debt and move to a cash-only system. Other programs teach how to increase savings by having money automatically deducted from paychecks.

Save More Money Each Month

Couples who resolve to save more money each month or who want to make a big purchase can create plans for achieving these goals. To save more each month, couples can either choose to eliminate certain luxuries or to set up an account for savings prior to spending any money each month. Get creative and challenge each other to give up one little habit or luxury that adds up to a large total on a yearly basis. The combined savings can help kick-start an emergency fund, pay for a vacation or go toward a purchase to improve the home.

Couples whose long-term goals include making a big purchase can map out their financial year and decide how much they need to save each month to make their purchase by the end of the year or achieve a certain level of savings toward the purchase.

Update Financial Documents for the New Year

The new year is also a great time to take a fresh look at key financial documents or to stop procrastinating on the tough decisions. Couples who want to put their financial house in order can resolve to make this the year they make a will, choose life insurance options or start saving for retirement. None of these decisions can be made lightly, which is why it is so easy to put them off for later.

Couples who have these financial documents can resolve to evaluate their financial documents to make sure they are up to date and reflect any changes in the past year. For example, a husband and wife may want to review the life insurance plans they have, see if their homeowner’s or renter’s policies are adequate and review their retirement savings plans. These documents can become outdated if years go by without updating them to reflect the birth of children, renovations to the home, additions to valuable collections and more.

Making New Year’s resolutions about money is a great way for a married couple to start off the year on the right foot. Take the time to set a financial goal and make a plan to meet it together. Ideas include paying down credit card debt, increasing savings, working toward a large purchase, creating a will or updating financial documents to keep their financial house in order.

~Love and be Loved

Poem Of The Week: Touched By An Angel

Touched by an Angel
-Maya Angelou


We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free

~lOVE 2 B lOVED

Lyrics Of The Week

The Point Of It All
-Anthony Hamilton

I can't stay away from you too long
Even if I do I'll always call
Checkin' on you make sure you're ok
Be the one to brighten up your day

And the point of it all
Is I love you
You know I love you baby

My days seem long whenever we're apart
It's like someone had thrown away my heart
You're a major part of my life
And no matter what the storm may bring
I'm fine with you,

And the point of it all
Is I love you
And the reason for it all
Is I love you

O I love
O I love you
O my love
I can't stay away too long
I can't stay away from you baby
Don't wanna be without you
I need you
O why don't you stay around for awhile

And the point of it all
And the point of it all
And the point of it all
And the point of it all
Ohhohh, and the reason for it all
And the point of it all
Is that I love you
Yeah, I love you

Whenever we're apart
It damn near starves my heart
And I don't ever want to be apart




~Love and be Loved