Will Smith Gives Good Relationship Advice

 After being married for 13 years to wife Jada Pinkett-Smith, actor Will Smith seems like he would be a good person to sit down and talk with about how to make a healthy marriage work. He recently spoke with Essence about relationships, schooling us on not only love and marriage, but what men need to be happy. He says that every man wants to marry their “homie,” avoid nagging by direct affection, give your man a little space, and keep things mysterious:

If You Marry Your Best Friend, You’re Good 

Every man wants to marry his homie, Will explained. A lot of women will impress them, but it’s the one they can always laugh with and be themselves with that will ultimately impress them the most. If you can be yourselves around each other, 100 percent of the time, and they can make you life like no one else can, you’ll never have a dull moment together.  

Remind Him of What He Has 

When you start to feel that you’re nagging your husband to the point of no return and nothing you’re saying is getting through, Will suggests you try a new approach. Hold him close, look him right in the eyes, and tell him that you love him, you’re right there, and you always will be, BUT you need him to pick his socks up – right now.  As Will puts it, it’s important to remind him that your request is coming from a good place, and what you want is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Um, genius!  

All Men Need A Little Space 

“If you don’t give your husband thirty minutes to himself when he first gets home he’ll stop coming home,” Will told me, straight up. (You’re thinking, no way, right? I did too!) When I asked Will when a wife was supposed to say her piece, he responded, “anytime after that.” Will reminded me that everyone’s home needs to feel like a happy place, and it won’t if you’re “greeted with negativity” every time you enter the door. Touché Will. Talk about a pause for the cause.  

Focus on Balance and Excitement Always According to Will and Jada’s way of thinking about marriage, maintaining a happy union isn’t just about making time for one another, it’s about making the time count too. Excitement and mystery are everything, he said. Surprise them, let them know you love them, laugh together – whatever it takes to put a smile on their face.

Article Source: http://necolebitchie.com/2011/06/21/will-smith-offers-relationship-advice-marry-your-best-friend/

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Eight Ways To Spring Clean Your Relationship

Are there some dust bunnies and cobwebs in your relationship that need cleaning out? Here's how.

By Lori Lowe

I’ve been cleaning out a lot of closets lately, and going through old boxes in the basement. Isn’t it embarrassing all the stuff we accumulate over the years? I found some head phones from the 1980s! Spring is the ideal time for organizing our lives—clearing out the old, decluttering, and trying to make our environment a little more pleasing. I feel more in control of my life when things around me are more in order.


Where in our relationships can we use a little spring cleaning? Here are some ideas for spring cleaning your marriage:

1. Clear the air. Are there any conversations you have been avoiding, or arguments that have come up a few times? Schedule a time for a heart-to-heart. Shine the sunlight on issues that are becoming problematic, such as financial strain

2. Make room for new experiences. Look at your calendar of commitments. Do you need to free up one night a week as a couple or as a family?

3. If you’ve been building up resentment, it’s time to dust it off and unload past hurts. Tell your spouse you want to move past these things, but you'd like to share your feelings about why these incidents hurt you. Allow yourself time to see that your partner is different today. Give your spouse the opportunity to apologize and make things right. Then FORGIVE him or her and MOVE ON. While it’s important to give voice to your hurts, you have to be willing to stop bringing them up once you’ve worked through them with your partner. Consider it old baggage, and haul it away. Start fresh.

4. Are there proverbial cobwebs around the marital bed? Take the necessary steps to reconnect and clear them out. Start with communicating about how you got to this point (without blame) and what would help you to feel more intimate with your partner. If you can’t make progress here on your own, get help. Sexual intimacy is vital to marital renewal.

5. Give thought to spiffing up your appearance. Has it been a while since you cleaned out the closet and cleared out ill-fitting clothes and old sweat pants? Consider updating your hair, makeup or wardrobe if it’s gotten lax. Pack away the flannel PJs for next winter. Prepare and eat healthy meals that leave you feeling energetic not bogged down. Enjoy the confidence that the shiny new you brings.

6. Clean and organize areas where you spend the most time. In addition to the figurative spring cleaning, a literal cleaning can give your family a boost of energy. Keep your bedroom clutter to a minimum—and leave the TV in another room. Find strategies and storage for dealing with the high-traffic daily clutter, such as mail and school papers.

7. Check tarnished relationships. If negative friendships or family stresses are contributing to marital disharmony, give them a good scrubbing. Be united as a couple, and set boundaries where needed. All your friends should be supportive of your marriage, or they may not be the friends you think they are. Family disputes: Apologize to those you need to apologize to, and set family relationships right when you can. This will save a lot of time and stress in your marriage.

8. Keep it maintained. Just like we can’t clean our houses once in the spring then forget about it (oh, how I wish it would last for at least a week), we have to work on keeping our marriages renewed and fresh. Find something new and exciting to do this month, and get it on the calendar. And repeat the above steps as needed.



Article Source:http://www.yourtango.com/experts/lori-lowe/8-ways-spring-clean-your-relationship



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Getting Through The Tough Times In Your Relationship

by Mark Webb

Every marriage will go through times of challenge. Some marriages will be strengthened while others will be destroyed. Tough times may be as common as financial problems or the aftermath of a hurtful argument. Marriages may suffer as the result of a miscarriage or the death of a loved one. Whatever challenge you face, remember this:


It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them than to have tough times and not be prepared.


Here are five of the essential principles to strengthen your relationship and give you an edge during times of adversity.

Be Mindful Not To Worry. If something needs to be fixed, fix it if you can but remember that worry never fixes anything. Worrying is a waste of time and energy. It's like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. Worry prevents you from seeing hope and solutions. Besides, most things we worry about never happen.


Be Patient Towards Your Partner. Patience is an excellent remedy for the tough times you will go through. You love your partner so don't choose the moments of crisis to come down on them. Don't let stress sway you into losing perspective. Realize that if you are not careful, adversity can damage your relationship. Stay away from blaming, using criticism to make a point, lecturing, sarcasm and name calling. Everything becomes possible again when love and patience are present.


Practice Forgiveness. It is amazing how quickly someone will turn on the person they love. Don't let upset feelings infect your relationship. Resentments close the door on the possibility of a bright future. Love is a continous act of forgiveness. Everybody likes the idea of forgiveness until they have to be the one to forgive. If you want your relationship to be better than most, you must instill this habit of forgiveness.


Use Your Sense Of Humor. A laughing couple is much stronger than an arguing or withdrawn couple. If you can find humor in the challenge you are facing you can survive it. Laughter dissapates hopelessness. You cannot argue and laugh at the same time. It is impossible. The choice is up to you.


Vow To Stay Connected. Stand together against adversity. Promise to endure throughout the storms that most likely will come your way at some point or another. Staying connected takes practice. People commonly choose to withdraw from each other at times of trouble. This distance may feel safer but it does long term damage to the relationship. If you truly love your partner then vow "We will get through this, Together!"


You are the only one who is responsible for your character. Do not let other people or circumstances determine your actions. If there is goodness in your relationship, then it is worth fighting for. Give your partner a message of committed reassurance. Let them know, "I'm Here For You." and "We Will Get Through This."

Things To Keep In Mind During The Tough Times

*Don't blame each other for the situation.

*Lower your expectations of one another until the crisis subsides. Eat leftovers or fastfood. Don't worry too much about the housework.

*Remind yourself that the tough times won't last forever.

*Don't take advice from people who have a negative attitude.

*Ask for help from family and friends.

*Remember your love and commitment to each other.

*It's okay to let the answering machine take your calls.

*Reduce your stress by exercising and getting plenty of sleep.

Article Source:http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/toughtimes



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Quote Of The Week: Dawn M. Williams

"Conflict is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong. The way in which differences are resolved (or not) is a more accurate measure of stability. "

 -Dawn M. Williams



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